2012 with eveeleva

Epic Muffin Disaster

2012-01-26T23:02:00.002+08:00

This is what happens when you insist on making muffins without a muffin tray.

Yes, square muffins.

The result of squeezing all the muffin cups filled with the batter together,

to prevent it from ...like... collapsing.

EPIC EPIC FAIL.

Lesson learnt- buy a Muffin Tray!

Otherwise, it tasted pretty good! =P

The Best CNY Ever (part deux)

2012-01-26T22:56:00.002+08:00

...and the awesome weekend continued....

CNY weekend Day 3 (First day of CNY)

We decided that it was time for the boys' first trip to the Mandai Zoo! What better time we thought? It was a long weekend, it was the first day of the Chinese New Year so certainly all our fellow Chinese Singaporean citizens would be busy visiting and we had the whole of the next day to recover from whatever madness transpires at the zoo.

The entrace of the zoo as we were leaving!!!!

And what madness it was. It could have possibly been the busiest day at the zoo EVER! We were amongst, what must have been, contingents of Bangladeshi workers enjoying their long weekend and bus loads of tourists and of course about 99.36% of the expat community here in Singapore who thought it too was the best day ever to descent upon Mandai zoo.

Ipin and the billy goats. They tried to bite off my babies little toes.
Time to buy them shoes I'll say!

For our first trip, it went surprisingly well. We didn't see much cos the boys were a tad cranky from fighting the zzzzs. They were obviously thrilled. But we have the membership passes so this will be the first of many many trips to the zoo!

We thought of Auntie Imp, whose holidaying in Shanghai,
when we were at the Orangutan enclosure!

We did spend loads of time at the Orang Utan enclosure, which I love!!! So the boys got to appreciate why the gift we had gifted Auntie Imp was a very important one!

CNY weekend Day 4

Day 4 was a 'take-it-easy' day before life resumed to its normal frantic pace. I wanted a home-cooked meal so I planned for a trip to the nearby supermarket. Hubby was craving prata so we thought we'd make a stop at a nearby prata joint for breakfast, before shopping for groceries. Yes, with the twins. We do EVERYTHING with the twins!

It was such a delightful surprise when the doorbell rang early in the morning and I found my brother and my lil nephew waiting for us to welcome them in. They had gone on a very very early morning walk at Bishan Park and stopped by to say hello. They decided to join us for prata and it became certainly more fun than if we had just gone, the 4 of us!

It was actually very very good!

Shopping at NTUC went well and I managed to get everything I needed for an Ikan Bakar lunch. I also made baked honey chicken wings for the helper who is allergic to fish and we had scrumptious stir-fried bittergourd to round off the meal!

Oh though, I forgot banana leaves, which would have done wonders to the dish. My folks have a banana tree right in front of their place, so it didn't occur to me that I'd need to buy some, seeing that I'm now a heartlander with no space to plant my own fruit trees!

I even had enough energy to round up a batch of Apple Pie Muffins. Which didn't turn out as I expected, but that's for another blog post.

The weekend ended with me sharing to hubby, ' Our weekends have never been more tiring, but they've never felt more fulfilling and rewarding either'.

The joys of parenthood. =)

The Best CNY Ever (CNY 2012)

2012-01-26T00:00:00.000+08:00

While our New Year started off on a terrible note, our Chinese New Year certainly started off on a happy one. In fact, I think this was the best CNY I've had ever. Yes, even my nua (do nothing but sleep by the pool) CNY holiday in Bintan with the girlfriend couldn't match up with the power-ness of this year's activities!

CNY Weekend Day 1 (Saturday)

We spent Saturday morning sleeping in late. If you consider sleeping till 8.30am late. Although it was really a result of waking up several times through the night to pacify the twins, who since falling ill early this year has just been a mess when it comes to their sleeping habits! So it didn't really count.

Anyway, I disgress. We spent the rest of the day at my mom's. While the grandparents doted on the twins, Mr Eveel managed to catch an EXTRA long snooze while I managed to catch up on my reading ( I just couldn't put down the Steve Jobs Biography). Anyway, reading always trumps afternoon naps, I'll say!

CNY Weekend Day 2 (Sunday)

Ipin happily being fed a fry by Auntie R

We had a morning brunch date with R&R and lil Nikki at Bishan Park. Bishan Park is Singapore's Central Park. In my mind at least. And if so, our place would be equivalent to the most expensive apartments in Manhattan! Hur hur!

After delightful waffles, egg benedicts, coffee and a blueberry smoothi (for moi!) we walked around the park and let the boys lookse on the green green grass. They spent time connecting with mother nature, or rather sampling her smorgasboard of dried twigs, crisp brown leaves and fresh green ones. Anything they could get their little hands on!

Upin showing his selection of dried grass and twigs to lil Nikki

Late afternoon was spent at my grandmothers. It was nice to bring the kids around and bring some cheer to my grandma's old wrinkly face.

We, including my folks and my brother and his lil family, headed to Changi Airport Terminal 3 (T3) to walk around and check out the fun stuff happening there. Okay, we wanted to go to the beach, but it looked like it was going to pour, so T3 was a great option.

Ipin posing with a very very gaudy-ly dressed up Merlion.

The boys went literally nuts at the viewing lounge. I can't decide whether I like that the floor is carpeted. It does look all soft inviting and comfy, but seriously carpets can be nasty stuff. Uncarpeted floors are sooo much easier to clean. But then again, I have never been terribly particular about my kids cleanliness. Although stomach flu over New Year's did prompt me to review my parenting philosophy.

Upin enjoying the space to crawl and climb!

Anyhoo...we did meet a lady who was by herself, and he mini bible, who spoke to us and watched the kiddos play. She told my folks that we were a very blessed family. She could sense the joy and felt that we were prosperous.

That made me happy. I later told Mr Eveel that we had so much to be thankful for. We are certainly blessed.

(....to be continued)

Cold feet n general uselessness

2012-01-11T22:12:00.001+08:00

Shhh!!! I'm gonna share with you a little secret. I was supposed to return to work on Tuesday. Upin, who started vomiting on Monday morning was looking better and my mom-in-law, who was staying over, seemed to have a good grip of things. But as I was dressing up, I begun to feel a swarm of butterflies flutter excitedly in my stomach and I felt, like I myself,was about to vomit. Sheer and utter panic. It swept over me like a mighty wave crashing on the shores of Uluwatu. There was no way I was going to make it into the office. I was scared of the emails that awaited me. I was afraid of all the work that had been done and the notion that i wiuld never be able to catch up. I was afraid to learn that the wole world went on without me. And they didn't want me back. No, they didn't need me back.I felt sick.So I called my boss and took another day of childcare leave. But I couldn't jolly well stay home, now could I? What would my mom-in-law say? So I headed to town, parked myself at Starbucks with a skinny cappuccino and opened up my office laptop. I spent the good part of the day slowly going through emails. I felt much much better after that. And once I caught up with the stuff going on over emails, the butterflies slowly disappeared and I started to look forward to going back t the office.I'm happy to report that no panic attacks took place today and I had a good first day back at the office. Except worrying about Upin who was still sick and at my mom's!But its not all happy la la la...it is appraisal time. And looking back, I really dont have much to show for this year, It sucks, i'm usually a productive member of any team but this year...sigh..I dunno la. but I'll blog about it more, another day.

Separation Anxiety

2012-01-06T10:24:00.001+08:00

My twins have been separated now for almost a week. Ipin is being cared for by my mom-in-law and I at home, while Upin is being cared for by my mom at my parent's place. It's really for their own good. To ensure that Upin doesn't catch what Ipin has.

But after receiving a call from my mom last night, sharing that Upin hasn't been sleeping well and crying a lot at night, I started to wonder whether separating them is really the best thing to do?

Feeling terribly guilty about being away from Upin while caring for Ipin, I went back to my parent's place last night to spend the night with Upin. My mom was right, he had restless sleep, kept crying and sobbing during the night.

I thought my heart was already in a million tiny fragments. I didn't realise that during the night it would slowly fragment into tinier and even tinier pieces. At one point, after being unable to console my sobbing child, I pulled out my iphone and showed him a video of his brother. Only then did he seem to calm down, cuddled me close and shut his eyes.

My dad told my mother, that if he could miss my mum after being a day away from her, he couldn't imagine what Upin must feel being separated from Ipin for a week. After all, they've been since the first second of life, never spent a whole day apart.

The person I'm closest too is my husband. And even I had pangs of separation anxiety when he didn't reach home the moment he was supposed to (by my own mental calculations of how long he'd take to get home from the exact second he's supposed to finish work). I threw a small fit when he told me that he was spending some time after work getting stuff for his class. How dare he leave me for much longer that he needed to, without informing first!

Noone asked Upin whether it was ok for us to 'ship' him away for a week, either.

I can't imagine what my poor babies are feeling.

I'm starting to feel that it's better to have them together instead of wait for Ipin's diarrhea to subside.

Oh my, what am I supposed to do? This motherhood business is super tough. What was I thinking when I decided to become a mother? And what was god thinking when he gave me the 2 of them!

*SOB*

A kinda crappy start to the New Year

2012-01-04T23:14:00.001+08:00

I had a kinda crappy start to the New Year.

We hosted a NY Eve lunch to celebrate Mr Eveel's grandmother's 79th birthday. Which was loads of fun.

But by 8pm, Ipin (twin 2) had vomitted 5 times. So we rushed him to the emergency room. We initially thought it was related to a couple of hard knocks he's had on his head (the boy is learning to walk and seems to be in quite a hurry to learn!) but it turned out to be a tummy virus that he got from hubby and I. Yucks!

We didn't think it was the tummy virus at first, cos we had food poisoning during our annual 'pilgrimage' to Malacca and KL with the brunch kakis. But it was.

So we spent New Year's eve, day and public holiday after that in hospital. He's out of the hospital now but the diarrhea and vomiting continues. Also, to ensure that Upin, twin 1 doesn't catch what Ipin has, we've had to leave him at his grandma's. Which is horrible cos I miss him soooo much!

I don't want to talk about it anymore but want to share some lovely pics of my boys and us, before this horrible episode took place.

Ipin at my office Xmas party

Upin opening presents that Aunt Mai brought along during her visit!

The twins exploring our Maya hotel room during our KL stay- you can spot a bit of the twin towers on the right.

Gorgeous Durian Chendol at Jonker Walk @ Malacca

Last happy family photo (in Malacca) before the crappy end of year stuff took place.

The twins have a cold

2011-11-15T21:57:00.001+08:00

The twins have a cold. And they seem more rested than I am. Sigh.

They were totally fine when I got home from work yesterday. Absolutely their usual chatty and active selves. But then putting Ihsan to bed was tremendously difficult. He was crying (or rather screaming) most of the whole hour and a half it took for me to put him to bed.

Afterwhich, he and Irfan took turns to wake up and fuss. Yes, with twins the reality is that one wakes up and fusses for 45 minutes before he goes back to sleep, when right on CUE, the other twin will stir and then fuss for another 45 minutes, before he tag-teams the other twin who then wakes up. And it's like that ALL night long.

To be fair, MrEveel took the earlier shift, from 12-3am. So I did get a bit of sleep.

You see, we take turns to sleep with the twins. It all started from birth when they shared a crib. I was a panicky mummy. Everytime one made a sound, I would instinctively jump out of bed to soothe the baby. I was totally afraid, then, that one crying twin would wake the other twin. And who wants two crying babies, right?

So, my actions conditioned the twins to expect to have me, or hubby, be around to soothe them when they awake at night. Yes, this means that I have not had a night of uninterrupted sleep for more than a year (cos I wasn't sleeping during my pregnancy).

Only until recently, when we moved into our new place have we sorted out the sleeping arrangements so that hubby and I take turns to sleep with the twins (in their bedroom). This means that we get alternate days of uninterrupted sleep. *yaay* (yes, we are that SAD)

But, yes. I could kick myself for being stupid earlier and now finding myself in this not so great situation. I am not a perfect mother, and the truth is, we make silly mistakes because we don't know any better. And caring for twins is really difficult OKAY!

Sigh...it's this struggle I have with my inner perfectionist critic. I keep blaming myself for the situation I am in. Like why in the world, didn't I just like separate the twins, or leave them to cry. And it goes on and on and on!

Anyway, even though it was hubby's turn to sleep with the babies, I ended up taking over because he was exhausted, and he too needed to go to work the next day. The long and the short of it was that I was up all night, and am exhausted today.

I took childcare leave to take them to the peediatrician (i can never spell this word). He said, it could become a full blown flu- Please god! Don't let that happen. And they were so clingy and whiny all day long.

They're in bed now. But they do keep waking up to fuss (God, give me strength)

And i logged onto work emails to clear my inbox. But i've decided not to do any work tonight., even though my to do list is sooooo bloody long. Because I am tired, I have a 9am meeting tom. And I had a hard enough day as it was.

Sigh...I hope your week is starting out better than mine. =(

About Me

2011-11-11T00:42:00.001+08:00

I've just update my About Me section of my blog. I think it more accurately reflects my state of mind. And the focus of my rants and raves.

I've been quiet because I've been struggling. But i read something that reminded me, that this. Yes this- jotting down of my thoughts will help me.

I hope it does.

If you are a reader. Cos i know there are those of you who drop by and maybe take a look around. Do leave me a comment, or send me an email.

It helps me a lot to know that. I am not alone. (Not that I am alone, really. but you get my drift!)

I am a new mother of twin boys. Post maternity leave, I have entered into a new working environment.

Everyday is a struggle of balancing my desires to be a mother who is involved in every single thing my twins are experiencing as well as my personal desires to excel at the workplace.

Everyday is a struggle and no one day is easy.

This blog has served, for some time, to be an outlet for me to air my worries, frustrations and challenges.

But recently, it's been suffering from neglect. Because I've been neglecting my own needs.

So today, I remind myself of the power of sharing and that it is important for me to take some time to pen my thoughts down.

I also hope that my honest sharing will help other women like me.

And i pray that through this journey, I will be able to gain clarity on my roles and grow my appreciation for the love that I have been blessed with.

the tooth fairy MONSTER!

2011-10-17T09:58:00.005+08:00

pic from akolang,
http://ako-lang.deviantart.com/art/my-evil-tooth-fairy-68893886

It's been a while since my last post. And the reason, plain and simple is that RAISING TWINS IS NO BLOODY F*!$ing joke.

Sniff...

I think they're teething now. A lot of crying, fussing, sleepless nights.

I am at home now on childcare leave, because I didn't sleep all night, and they're just so fussy that my mom threatened to leave the country and change her name....okay she didn't... but i'm afraid she just may...

Sigh...

Feeding the Twins

2011-09-27T09:00:00.000+08:00

Someone recently asked me what I've been feeding the twins since they started on solids. The questions was one which arose out of curiousity more than an enquiry on why my twins look so...solid! *lol* They aren't much bigger than the average 7+ month old baby really.

When I came to accept the fact that I wasn't going to be able to breastfeed my children successfully, I decided that I would do my best to ensure that they get the best, most nutritious food that my purse-strings would allow. I'm delighted to report that I have from the get-go tried to do this and continue to try and feed my children well.

I've been following the Super Baby Food Diet book which my sis-in-law kinda recommended. She was reading it but didn't make an outright recommendation. I got a copy for myself and have been following this diet quite zealously.

I don't know if this is the best book about baby foods, but I found it simple. I like that she tells you when is the best time to introduce what sorts of foods, e.g. Sweet Potatoes and Avocados at 6 months, Carrots, Peas, etc at 8 months. For a new mommie like me, information like this really helps. I don't second guess my choices on how to feed them and what's the best ways to cook their food.

So I steam and puree different types of foods for the twins which I store in the freezer. I do this about once a week. Right now we're still in the midst of introducing new foods, but they eat a staple of a daily porridge made out of brown rice, oatmeal, barley with a sprinkle of ground flax-seed.

This porridge is mixed with usually a fruit for the mornings, and sometimes served with yoghurt. And a vegetable for supper. We're going to work towards introducing more legumes for their base porridge, and more veges so that they end up eating a mix of veges during the day.

They are such great eaters the two of them, and would even wallop sour prune puree which even my mom can't swallow. LOL!

I actually enjoy prepping their food for them, the peeling, cutting, steaming, pureeing, labelling are all very therapeutic activities. It also makes me feel wonderful that they're eating good wholesome foods.

So far, they've started eating: Brown Rice, Oatmeal, Barley, Yoghurt, Peaches, Prunes, Pears, Bananas, Avocados, Peas, Carrots, Asparagus, Sweet Potatoes and Tofu.

We still have a long list of foods to introduce and I aim to try and introduce as much as possible. I want my babies to have a varied palate for different cuisines, even from a young age!

The Babat's Pool Party

2011-09-26T23:04:00.003+08:00

A Very Important Thank You Speech

The Babat's Pool Party was only made possible because of you Seetee who gifted your son's big beautiful rubber blow up pool to the twins.

Thanks must also go to my sister Ais and helper who used 2 pathetic bicycle pumps to blow up the pool, although I must take some credit as I did blow up part of the pool with nothing but my strong set of lungs. Let it be known, that if there's one thing I am good at it is the art of blowing (the pool full of air).

Without these people, the twins and cousin Mik would never have quite experienced the joy of swimming in their grandparents own front yard.

I would also never have learnt that my nephew Mik quenches his thirst during water play by simply drinking water from the pool. Very efficient young lad, but perhaps not quite the solution to your thirst.

Mik trying to drink from the gayong

On that note, I thank the people above again for helping contribute to my nephew drinking water from a small pool in our front yard, rather than from a public pool which would be filled with millions of germs from eecky sweaty Singaporeans who probably also pee in the pool.

I also thank my brother and sis (on 2 separate occasions) for climbing into the pool with me so that both twins could have a dip (as daddy was at work, daddy- we have to plan these party's for when you are home).

And finally, on behalf of my brother as well, I would like to thank all the people above who had made it possible for my brother and I to enjoy afternoons of water play without having to share the sight of our glorious babats (means tripe in the english language, but commonly used in the Malay language to refer to...yess...FATS) with the general public!

A sneak peek @eveeleva's renovations!

2011-09-26T22:39:00.000+08:00

Our renovation has been progressing pretty well. In fact it's almost over. The handover from the ID happens tomorrow. I've not been blogging because I've been so caught up with coping with the new workplace and taking care of every little detail about the twins that I haven't had much energy to take care of the flat's renovation.

After being quite peeved with Mr Eveel for not paying attention to the renovation and expecting me to take care of everything, I finally sat him down and started one of my legendary rants about how I'm not a superwoman, I'm not the kind of gal that you can let down and think that everything's ok...no no...that's Karyn White. But it surely was my themesong for the week. Well you get the drift. So he's been taking care of everything. Including buying and choosing toilet accessories, etc. I really don't care about these things! Yes- people stare at me in amazement when I tell them our tile picking experience took all of five minutes. We went...No, No, No, Erm...Yes!

We are extremely happy with our choice for a renovation company- Kenneth and Derrick from Ideal House have been absolutely superb! Here's a sneak peek at our first pad for four!

More details to come...

the mrbrown show: the new normal

2011-09-13T15:36:00.000+08:00

Made me laugh. The phrase 'the New Normal' is being so overused at the workplace that the colleagues and I just couldn't help laughing our ass off listening to this!

the mrbrown show: the new normal

2011-09-11T09:00:00.000+08:00

My Cheeky Little Monkey!

I want TOMS

2011-09-10T23:00:00.000+08:00

I have never wanted a pair of shoes more than I want this pair of TOMS!

I discovered TOMS on the news. E! News mind you. Not the 'rubbish' they show on Channel 5 or BBC or CNN. *guffaw*

Anyway, for every 1 shoe you buy, they provide a poor shoeless child in an undeveloped company with a pair of shoes. Isn't that great? Why didn't I think of it myself?

Anyway, these shoes look really really comfy. More my vibe than lusting over pair of louboutins! Hah! I was never a high heels kinda gal, and now with twins in tow, it's usually birkies or nothing!.

I think, once I get a chance. I am going to get myself a pair. Maybe some Tiny TOMS for the babies too!

This one looks really nice for the twins!

What do ya think?

Our first Eid celebrations

2011-09-10T22:45:00.001+08:00

This was our first Eid celebrations as a family.

I've never really enjoyed the holiday. I love the fasting month bit but I don't care very much for the hari raya celebrations itself. I don't understand why we must go visiting, especially the kind of visiting when you visit Ms X at her house today, and then the very next day she comes and visits our house. Because you HAVE to visit the house. Nevermind that we've already spent time reconnecting. I don't quite get it.

But i do go along, because. I am a non-conformist and not a rebel. Ok I'm a non-conformist... sometimes.

Argh! I just don't see the point in arguing with the family members who do cherish and value this visit, revisit part of eid celebrations. And I don't wish to be the black sheep of the family. So i go when I'm in the mood.

Well. This year Eid was not just tiring, it was bloody stressful I tell you. On Day 1, we have 6 houses to visit beginning from 10.30am in the morning. Coordinating naps, solids feeding, milk feeds, nappy changes, etc almost killed me. Yes- i do take these things seriously, and a lot of thought goes into the planning for the day. And you know me, I stress out about absolutely EVERY freaking thing!

But we survived! And the boys behaved themselves for the day, and of course were absolutely over-tired, high-strung and wonky by the end of the night. We couldn't get back in time for their 6.45pm bedtime, so by 8pm they were bouncing off the walls.

No sleep for me that night, and then they both fell ill.

Luckily, visiting with babies this year means we get the eid 'hongbaos'. They came in handy for the pediatrician bill that came up to a ringing $212 for the both of them!!

Another 11 months to the next one.... aiyar...did i mention, it's a 1 month celebration! 3 more weeks to go....sigh...

hmmm...

2011-08-23T20:45:00.000+08:00

What does it say about your blog, if a substantial percentage of readers were directed to your site from a website called www.besthelpforhemmarhoidsnow.com?

Hmmmm.......

walks with my men...

2011-08-22T22:49:00.001+08:00

The twins are accustomed to walks at least twice a day. Once, right after their morning bath and before their morning nap around 8.15am. And another time at about 5.30pm after their bath and before their milk and bedtime.

They love their walks, often spent babbling to each other while admiring the sights of the old estate. They're so accustomed to these walks, which have become part of their wind-down routine, that they'd often get very edgy, when for some reason or the other, they don't go for a walk. Usually, a spin in the car would do the trick.

Not only do they enjoy their walk. We often find that it let's us, care-givers unwind. And since, it always takes more than one person to care for the twins. The walk would allow at least 1 care-giver, often my mum, a chance to shower, watch some tv and catch a breather. So it's a win-win all round!

The twins have been lucky. I walked them daily when I was on maternity leave. And hubby's been walking them twice a day while he's been home over the last two months. And on some special days, we even take them on walks further afield.

Last Saturday, we enjoyed a cool breezy walk at Upper Pierce Reservoir.

My men...

If there's one thing we will always have as a family, it will definitely be our walks!

strawberry is soooo me!

2011-08-22T10:28:00.002+08:00

berry berry strawberry

The latest addition to my wardrobe, courtesy of my fabulous talented seamstress mother is this delightful strawberry printed skirt. Got the fabric when I was out shopping for my material for my hari raya baju this year.

It's Japanese cotton by the way. And i thought the print was TOOO cute! So I just HAD to have it! Got my mother to sew me a skirt. And wanted a more vintage-y, mad-men-ish look. She kept saying, isn't it too long? Isn't it too flared?

No no no mum! I love it! I do!

retrolicious!

turning 32: a dedication to my mother and those I love, and who love me.

2011-08-15T08:50:00.003+08:00

i thought the day i turned 32 was as good as any other day to resume blogging...

The family celebrated my birthday yesterday. Over post-sahur chat with my mum, I said, " I can't imagine celebrating the twins 32nd birthday." This morning, when she kissed and hugged me and wished me happy birthday, " She whispered...32 years ago, today...." and left it at that.

Mum and me (boy, does Ipin look like me here or what?)

Now, a new mother myself (it's only been 6 months and 10 days in counting) I've only just begun to appreciate the depths of a mother's love and sacrifice. Not only did she carry for 9 months and 1 week (this morning my father reminded me that I was a week overdue), she cared for me through all my childhood, bared with my teenage tantrums and after 31 years, she's still as much a mother to me as she was on the day I was born. I cannot imagine life without my mother's love and support. I am only who I am today because of my mother. I can only hope that at 32, the twins will look back and appreciate me half as much as I appreciate my mother (No point giving myself impossible standards to attain!).

Last year, I was in no mood to celebrate my birthday. I was suffering from first trimester blues and nauseas all the time, and I was sickened with fear that my pregnancy would end as quickly as the first one. I remember telling the family, that all I wanted was gifts in the form of prayers, to pray that my pregnancy would be healthy, and that I'd be able to carry the babies to term. Our prayers were answered and my 31st birthday gift arrived on 05 Feb 2011.

This year, I am truly in the mood to celebrate. After all, what more can a 32 year old wish for other than a loving family (supportive husband included) complete with a pair of amazing twin-bubs.

Ipin and Upin real names revealed!

Thank you all for your birthday wishes! This year is going to be amazing, I can feel it in my bones... =)

eveeleva @ work once more

2011-07-14T14:33:00.000+08:00

Yes. I am at work. Right now. And yes, I'm blogging. Yes yes...blogging at work. It's only going to take a minute. So stop it ok?

The reason my blog has been so quiet is cos i'm back at work. For the most part, i'm delighted and thrilled to be back at work. I do miss the boys but largely I'm absolutely excited to be in an environment that engages me intellectually.

It also means that since I started work last week, I'm still adjusting my day and getting used to spending most of my day away from home. This has left me little time to blog. Since we hotdesk at the new office, I try and choose tables which are AS EXPOSED as possible. So i'm less tempted to surf, engage in social networking or blog too long. I need to get as much work done during my 8.30-6pm hours, so that I can go home quickly to be with the boys.

This is very new to me. I'm miss social butterfly and enjoy doing many non-work activities during official work time, and then getting actual work done after work. Yes it's all very complicated. But that's me. Now things have changed, and it's about getting as much done as quickly as possible, so I can take care of other things. I've never needed to take care of other things really, I've just always had the luxury of workign 24hrs round the clock.

So there.

I'll be back soon enough I'm sure. I have tons of blogging ideas in my head, which I haven't had time to write about. But the time will come...

For now...I need to get settled down in a new routine...

Ta ta for now...

not been in the mood...

2011-06-27T21:31:00.000+08:00

Not been in the blogging mood lately. I go back to work next Monday. Although I'm looking forward to getting back into the office environment, and the thrill of starting a new job (i'm being seconded to another organisation for 2 years to do a different job), I'm so terribly afraid of how much I'm going to miss the 2 little ones that have been keeping me occupied for the last 5 months. It doesn't help that their personalities are beginning to show, they are always smiling and babbling constantly.

So, i'm spending every little moment of my day with them, or stoning, watching tv, reading or napping. Little luxuries I'm sure I will not be able to indulge in once work starts.

So...

Laterzz......

Our home: Eclectic is Ca-pa-lang?

2011-06-18T21:58:00.000+08:00

Busy busy busy with the boys and with looking for IDs and contractors who can do up our home just the way we want it and just within our budget!

We already have a clear picture of what we'd like our home to look like in colour. Yeah, hubby and I spend more time thinking about what colours our walls are going to be rather than what is the best layout...what sort of lighting we want....how to arrange the kitchen in the best possible way and other boring stuff like that. Thankfully we have very good advisors in this areas, who've had very good ideas that will help us save space, make our spaces look bigger etc.

But now colours...that Mr Eveel and I understand. Our colour palette will be inspired by a traditional Turkish hanging lamp set of 6 which we purchased during our trip last year. This will be hung over our antique marble table in the dining and will be the focal point of our home!

We unpacked 1 lamp out of the set of 6, and placed it under the light so that we could share our
design inspiration with the IDs we met.

My brother said, "Huh? Antique marble table and hanging traditional turkish lamps? Wouldn't they clash?"

I replied," My style is eclectic what?"

He retorted," You mean ca-pa-lang lah? Same lah!"

Heh...

payback's a BIATCH!

2011-06-13T05:24:00.000+08:00

Snapped on the macbook photobooth!

In August, millions of Muslims all around the world will fast for a month. I have begun my fast a month early. This year eveeleva will be fasting for 2 whole months instead of 1.

Thanks to my pregnancy last year which kept my head literally down a toilet bowl, I wasn't able to fast for the ENTIRE month of Ramadhan last year. So I have to payback a whole month before Ramadhan comes around this year.

So it is 5.21am in the morning and I am having my cup of rubbish 3 in 1 coffee (where is the coffee imp when you need her?) At 5.30am my first day of a 2 month fast will begin.

Wish me luck!

fake polaroid app

2011-06-11T17:30:00.001+08:00

I wish i had a real polaroid camera, but i don't. For now i'll have to be satisfied with the iphone app instead. Here are a couple of snaps i took while taking a stroll with the twins.

US...staying us.

2011-06-09T12:48:00.000+08:00

It has been exactly 16 weeks and 2 days since we became parents. It's really easy to forget just who we were...no...ARE as a couple before the craziness of 3-hourly feeds, dirty nappies and crying babies.

Early this year, when planning for our anniversary celebrations we had planned to continue a newfound tradition of celebrating our anniversary with a staycation at our favourite hotel. We were fools to think that we'd be able to leave the twins, who would then be 2 months old, and spend a romantic night together. When they babies came, I didn't need to say a word, Mr Eveel picked up the phone and cancelled the reservation.

We did celebrate, choosing to dine at Lau Pa Sat where we 'pak tor'-ed quite regularly while we were dating, and indulged in dessert and coffee at Oscars. But, we spent most of the time talking about the twins. We hardly talked about us. There was no hand-holding and gazing into each other's eyes. No, no, no! Noone would have thought we were out celebrating our anniversary. But neither of us fell asleep at the table, and that was achievement enough!

Last night, Mr Eveel said something that really struck a chord with me. He said that he was enjoying our conversations and discussions for our new home. It was something he missed very much, and reminded him of us, sans twins.

It is timely that at 16 weeks, the twins have learnt to go to bed at 7pm and to stay asleep, after their 10.30pm feed, all the way till 7am. It has let us regain our sanity, and left a bit of time for Mr Eveel and I to reconnect allowing us a glimpse of the couple we used to be. I know things will get better, and everyday we get closer to that moment where we both turn back together and realise how much we have grown together.

Happy Belated 2nd Anniversary Honey!

I know this is 2 months late, but it's been a hell of a 4 months hasn't it? I've always wondered who I'd be able to go through hell and high water with, and I'm glad its been with you!

monochromatic (the Flynn)??? yeah right!

2011-06-07T21:12:00.002+08:00

What was I thinking when I was contemplating changing my dress style and colour palette to The FLYNN? I'm glad you have all helped me understand that I AM about colour. A black and white eveeleva, is no eveeleva at all.

Here's to the real Eveeleva! In no less than her signature PINK (top, watch & glasses!)

Top: Bysi
Jeans: GAP
Watch: NIXON
Glasses: Ralph Lauren

A family heirloom...

2011-06-07T20:56:00.000+08:00

Our family has had a old marble topped kopitiam table for as long as I remember. And for as long I I could remember, I have always always loved it. I remember telling my mom at 15 that I wanted the table for my own home one day. So I refused to let them throw the table away when we moved to our current residence and even convinced my sis to keep the table in her room while I went about looking for a husband, then looking for a place to live in. LOL.

I didn't take a snap of the marble table but it looks something like this, except the legs of the table are much much bigger and grander looking.

Talking about our upcoming reno with my folks, and the fact that I will be taking our marble topped table along with me, my dad told me the most interesting of things. The table had belonged to my grandfather long before I remember it existing in my parents first flat in Bedok. It sat in the basement of my grandfather's kampung house at Jalan Eunos, and it was a hangout spot for my uncles, who used to sit around, chat and smoke.

And my grandfather, who was a driver for the British army when they were still based here, had gotten the table from the British. I don't have the details, but my dad told me that when they packed up and left, furniture on the base was, I dunno, sold or given away. That was how my grandfather came into posession of the table.

I was thrilled to hear this. A piece of history in my new dining room! Love lah...

I am sooo going to grill my grandmother about the table and how grandpa came into possession of it!

Our renovation journey begins here...

2011-06-05T07:01:00.000+08:00

We're getting the keys to our 4-room HDB flat in a week. It was like striking lottery when we received our ballot number for the ballot for the leftover/balance flats sale. The 4-room flat is at Ang Mo Kio Ave 1 right across the road from Bishan Park, a 5 min walk to AMK Mrt station and a 5 min drive from my folks. We couldn't have asked for more. Especially when we were looking at resale flats at the area which were going at 150K more than what we are paying for our brand new HDB flat.

And now our renovation journey begins...

We've met with 2 Interior Designers..from Brilliant ID and D'trenzo so far...I'll blog about that more laterz.... For now...here's some pics to give you a feel of our design inspirations and what we hope to materialise in our first home!

Breastfeeding- my wave of relief...

2011-06-03T12:11:00.002+08:00

Folks have been emailing and asking me whether I'm still breastfeeding. The thing is I never quite started. Well, successfully that is.

The one thing I want more than anything in the world is to fully breastfeed the twins for as long as I possibly can. I am not oblivious to the wonderful benefits of breastmilk. But I have SERIOUS supply issues. I just cannot supply.

I have visited the lactation consultants several times. I've tried breastfeeding continously, I've tried feeding whatever i had then pumping, I've even tried the Supplemental Nursing System (SNS) to keep the twins on the breast long enough for me to produce more milk. But it has all been unsuccessful.

And yes, I also tried to eat/drink everything that was recommended. Someone said oatmeal helped her, so i ate oatmeal. I had green papaya, fish head, spinach. I drank mother's milk tea. I even got my Gynae to prescribe me extra months of Domperidone which was supposed to double your milk production. You name it, I've tried it. Yet, my supply remained at 35-40ml everytime I pumped.

The end result was unhappy, hungry, crying babies and a desperately miserable me.

So i gave up.

What i do now is express twice a day. Each time I get about 40ml, and I give whatever I can produce to the twins. This didn't help remove the total despair I felt for not being able to breastfeed. It was horrible. Although I stopped crying every evening when hubby came home, it took just the shortest article on breastfeeding in a magazine to set off the tears. It didn't help that everyone, absolutely everyone I meet would ask if I was breastfeeding. I always struggled to explain why I'm not breastfeeding, always choking back the tears.

I've only recently got a grip of my situation. It took a trip to my Gynae office- my 3 months check up. When checking my uterus, Dr Tham told me that my 'monthly visitor' would not be coming back for some time as the uterine lining was still very thin. I exclaimed to him, 'Its amazing how such miserable and miniscule breastfeeding can still keep the monthly visitor away huh?'

He replied, and I love him dearly for this, ' Just shows how hard your body is working to try and produce the milk. It probably was and is the stress of taking care of the twins that's hindering the milk production.'

I could have crumbled into a pool of tears there and then. A wave of relief washed over me. I know I've been trying my best. That I know. I know it could have been stress that was stopping me from being able to breastfeed (after all, I stress over the littlest things), but to hear it from my doctor. It was just what I needed.

So it is what it is. I pump twice a day now. And even if I can squeeze out a mere 10ml of breastmilk I will do so. Because it is so precious to me. And it means everything that I can give even a tiny drop of milk to my babies.

You mummies out there who have a decent, not to mention an abundant supply, I hope you count your blessings every single day. I'd do anything to have had your luck and experience.

How quickly they grow (part deux)!

2011-06-02T12:07:00.001+08:00

I posted a pic of the gang of 3, a mere 2 months or so ago...

Look how they have grown!

Yes, its getting closer and closer to the time they will terrorise us ALL!

Just a point of clarification, the cheeky looking one on the very left in red is not my son.

I love him as much as I love the twins, yes.

But of my womb he did not pop out of!

LOL....

BTW...happy belated 1st birthday MIK!

Alamak Mat!

2011-06-02T11:54:00.000+08:00

Regardless of which part of the crib I put him (Upin) in, he ends up in a corner.

Yes, I am witness to a Mat in the making.....

suka relak one corner lah.....

aper nak buat?

we luv our twin stroller...

2011-06-01T22:07:00.000+08:00

We can't live without our wonderful twin stroller from bumbleride that hubby had shipped in from the USA. It was a gift from the twin's uncles and grandaunt, and what a fabulous gift it is.

The twins happily riding in their stroller

Beyond being a stroller from mall to park, in fact I think it could do very well in rough terrain, it has been a great vehicle for the all important NAPS that our twins need. They get soooooo cranky without their naps, and when they nap, it leaves Mr Eveel and my arms free to eat, and have coffee etc.

Look carefully to see their bums and a pillow. The twins having a happy nap!

Yes, they nap on their tummies, so we just lay some swaddle cloth over the seat, tap them to sleep, flip them over and they nap away. We've realised that we don't even need to stay stationary when they nap like this. We can shop and push the stroller around while they continue napping!

Napping away while Mr Eveel pushes them around!

Absolutely amazing!

The only problem we have is finding restaurants and cafes which are spacious enough for us to roll our stroller right in. Currently, we're stuck with the cafe on Level 5 or the coffee clube at Paragon as well as Starbucks at Marina Square.

Please share if you know of good TWIN stroller friendly places. It would do our social life real good!

It's ok, it's alright!

2011-05-29T21:56:00.000+08:00

It's ok, It's alright.

Man U Man U fight, fight, fight!

(This post does not indicate that Eveeleva's loyalty to Liverpool has wavered. In fact, she was secretly happy that Barcelona won! But out of respect to Mr Eveel's unwavering loyalty to Man U, Ipin has agreed to cheer on Man U and his daddy today. *grin*)

time for a makeover- the FLYNN perhaps?

2011-05-29T21:46:00.002+08:00

While I was pregnant, I thought I did a smart thing of cleaning out my wardrobe. I expected that I would put on quite a number of pounds, and would probably need considerable amount of time to shed the pregnancy pounds.

I had no delusional ideas that like hollywood stars or local celebrities like Wong Li Lin, who ran a marathon or was it a biathlon a few months after pregnancy, that i'd be hitting the gym as soon as I ended my confinement and returning to my size 6 figure (LOL..size 6, year right!).

True enough, the twins are keeping me from any outside activity, hence no gym time. Even taking brisk walks in the morning have been almost impossible, as they haven't quite settled into a routine quite yet. However, I have lost all my pregnancy weight, and better still am lighter than pre-pregnancy.

OK lah...yes you're right I HAD put on some weight even before I got pregnant, so I'm not super skinny but thinner lah...thin enough to fit into stuff which were too tight before I got pregnant.

So the wardrobe cleaning up has now worked against me. I now have nothing to wear because I've thrown away a lot of stuff I thought wouldn't fit me. And I haven't had time (read: lazy) to dig out the stuff that I did pack away.

PLUS I think I need a new look. A lot of my clothes were very bohemian-ish, lots of colour, variety etc. No no...the word is eclectic. It took me a lot of time to put outfits together because things didn't easily match, because pieces of clothing seemed like they were from different genres. It was fun then, to dress executive one day, bohemian another, Minah another day and cutesy-cutesy another day. Now i don't have the time nor the luxury to mix and match, and to follow my weird style moods.

I'm thinking of ditching colour and shopping in monochrome. Like blacks, whites, greys and yah, that's it. And maybe just do plain t-shirts, and shirts. Basic pants, jeans and capris and that's it. The aim would be, if I reached out into the wardrobe and blindly picked up a top and a bottom, it would match. I call this 'THE FLYNN', after a dear friend and colleague whose dress style is based on this philosophy.

But aiyar so boring right (although Flynn is not boring at all, I Love you Tau Kwa)? Especially when this season is all about bright blocks of colour. Groan...

What do you guys think?

mommy is a panda?

2011-05-27T11:02:00.001+08:00

Kungfu panda 2 is coming out soon.

Reminds me of the time I dressed up as kungfu panda for a work thing.

I wonder what the twins, when they are older, will think when seeing pics of their mom dressed up as panda?

I hope they'll love me even more for it!

(oh i also have dressed up as supergirl and starfish amongst other things...sigh)

the truth of the matter is...

2011-05-27T10:33:00.000+08:00

The truth of the matter is...i AM overwhelmed by this motherhood experience. I find it really very very difficult and challenging. And sometimes no...often...very often,,,many many times during the day, I wonder if god was thinking straight when he decided to bless me with twins.

Oh I have so many complaints about being a mother....there is surely no need to list them all but it includes being exhausted, sleep deprived, not having time to myself.

It really is tough for me to decide to go off for time alone, as it means my mum and the helper would have extra work on their hands. I do occasionally go out with 1 bub, leaving my mom with the other, but it really isn't the time off I desperately need. Sometimes I walk by shops and wish i could try on some cute outfits, but what would I do with the bub in the sling? Or even if he was in a pram? Would he cry while I was changing? Too much stress really. So i find myself mostly at home. Yesterday in a moment of desperation, I asked my mum if I could drive dad to work (a mere 10 min drive from home), just so I could just ...sigh, see the world, babyless. It felt sooooo good to just drive and hum along to the tunes on the radio.

I feel guilty when I think (blog) like this. I do feel awesomely blessed with twins, and I feel I shouldn't complain. But I think I'd burst if I didn't...complain that is.

I also feel terribly jealous of mum's with 1 baby. I'm sure I'd be so much more rested with just 1 baby, especially with the twins deciding to tag team each other these days. One is asleep while the other is cranky and need my constant soothing. Once i get one soothed and asleep, the other one awakes and decides "Hey, the other twin got all that attention huh? Now it's my turn....WAAAAAHHHH". I bathe one, and realise I have another to bathe. I feed one, and hey, there's another little mouth to feed. And the list goes on.

I'm also so jealous of the attention a mother of 1 baby can provide her baby. I always feel so stretched. With the twins doing tag-teaming, I do enjoy the time I have with 1 baby, playing and singing songs. But by the time the twin is asleep, and the other is awake. I find that I have less energy and just want to lie down and watch tv or something. Then I feel guilty that I don't provide enough stimulation for the other twin. *sniff*

Or if i'm soothing 1 and the other cries, and my mom or our helper has to soothe the other twin. I then feel horribly sad that I'm not enough a mother for both my babies. So once I soothe the one, I'd always take the other to soothe. Which is good, cos they know I'm always there for them, but bad cos I end up being ridiculously exhausted, and never getting a baby break.

I really should stop complaining. Motherhood is difficult regardless of 1 baby or 2 babies. And then there are mothers with a toddler and a newborn. Who am I kidding? I probably got it easy, with my mom and the helper helping me with the laundry, etc.

I should count my blessings instead....i know. I just sometimes forget in the midst of it all.

Coping with the twins

2011-05-05T08:49:00.000+08:00

I've always thought that I'd be one of those strict parents that says no to swings, pacifiers and stuff that I think, although will help the baby stop crying for the meantime, in the long run will make life difficult for the parents. I've also always said that I'd choose the 'let-cry' method to ensure that my children don't grow up bossing me around.

(I mean, if you know me, you'd know the only person I'd let boss me around is....errrr..NOONE! I AM the supreme Miss BOSSY!)

But with twins. I've thrown all my previous parenting beliefs out the window. All I believe now is - If it helps you cope for the now, JUST DO IT. You can figure tomorrow out, tomorrow! Especially when one crying means that the other one would wake up and start crying too. I mean, who needs two crying babies at one time, I'm frazzled enough as it is.

So, to cope with 2, we've been rocking them in their car-seats and I even rented swings so that we can swing them to sleep and keep them sleeping so that we can go about doing other things.

Maybe it is just luck on my side, they now don't like being rocked to sleep in their car seat, or even sit in the swing for long. So the carseat is only used to keep them propped up, and carried along with me when I do household chores, and of course used in the car as it was intended. And the swing has been returned.

They nap sleeping on their tummies now and nap pretty well all on their own (their enjoying a nap right now!)

Phew!

A message for a beloved aunt we haven't quite met yet!

2011-05-05T08:23:00.000+08:00

Dearest Aunt Sonia,

We know we haven't met you yet, but mommy says she's sure that we're gonna love you. We have a sneaky feeling that we will too!

Please please please get us one this onesie from the Sydney Aquarium! We only have 1 of them right now and we really really really wanna wear matching pairs of the cute lil onesie!

Love,

Upin and Ipin

Out one at a time...

2011-05-04T07:00:00.000+08:00

After staying home for more than a month, afraid of venturing out of the home with the twins on my own (I mean come on? It's really quite impossible to handle two newborn bubs on your own. Ok not impossible, but certainly very difficult). I was literally going crazy. It occurred to me that I may not have the guts to venture out with 2 babies, but I certainly could handle one! So, I did. I took Upin the first time I went out and we headed to Paragon, which was a baby friendly place, and straight to Kinokuniya to get me some books!

Lil Upin sleeping among the shelves!

And I even ventured out to have tea at Marmalade Pantry with Ali and lil Ipin.

Ipin with Aunt Ali fresh from his nap!

Its definitely not easy breezy out and about days, i do have to lug several things along (but which mommy doesn't) and I always feel like I've left a piece of my heart back home. But until they get bigger, this is the only arrangement that will let me get out of the house without losing all of my hair from the stress of fussing over 2 babies all on my own!

Mommy w Ipin

Haha....I just realised I dressed them in the exact same outfit for the outings! How terrible of me! It looks like I've only brought 1 twin out both times, instead of 1 twin per outing. LOL.

How quickly they grow!

2011-05-03T15:44:00.000+08:00

12 weeks...

tiny jelly bean them have grown so quickly in 12 weeks....

Tooo quickly, don't you agree?

Haha! I've just realised that Upin is always pictured on the right and Ipin on the left.

Go figure!

Mommy's first fresh prata brekkie

2011-05-03T10:23:00.000+08:00

12 weeks

It was a spontaneous decision. The twins were having their morning feed, when Mr Eveel said he started work a little late today. Immediately, the thought of prata- lovely, fluffy, buttery, greasy prata popped into my head. I suggested wheeling the boys out in their pram to the nearby prata place at Casuarina, and Mr Eveel who shares my deep passion for the greasy breakfast item immediately nodded in excitement!

It's a 10 min walk to the prata shop and we brisked walked rather than strolled as Mr Eveel had only about an hour to spare before he had to head to work.

It didn't really bother me much that I was wearing my be-a-sloth outfit for home, and didn't even have time to comb my hair. I was just excited about...you guessed it...eating prata! lol.

The twins were amazing in their pram this morning. Neither cried for the first time ever in their pram and instead look like they were having a ball of a time enjoying the fresh morning air (well as much fresh morning air you can get during peak hour morning traffic). I've learnt that the hour right after their nap and milk, is the bewitching hour when they'd sit quietly in their car seat, stroller or happily play alone in their jungle gym! It did take me 11 weeks to figure this out, but I guess better late than never. LOL.

Lil Ipin on the left, and lil Upin on the right admiring the lovely green foliage.

Mr Eveel and I have quite gotten used to eating with the twins in one hand. Unlike parents with one baby who can take turns to eat. Ours is a juggling act depending on the mood of the twins.

It was almost automatic for me, as soon as the prata arrived, to cut the prata into small pieces, just like my mom used to do for me when i was a lil girl, so that I could just 'stab and shove (into my mouth)' as the twins tend to want to climb up onto us once we're stationary! And true enough lil Ipin immediately wanted to be carried.

Lil Ipin w the nice lady

The twins usually get a lot of attention from strangers when we're out. This time a nice lady who sat right behind us was immediately enamoured by lil Ipin, and even volunteered to carry him while I ate. Ipin was very happy to have her carry him around, while mommy got to enjoy her morning prata. Although I still stabbed and shoved just in case he got cranky and needed me.

All in all, an excellent start to our Tuesday morning! Mr Eveel and I hope to make this a Tuesday morning habit!

lil Upin in Mr Eveel's arms

OH btw, if you feel that this post seems staccato-ish...its really cos i'm typing furiously while tapping the twins to lengthen their morning nap. A mommy's gotta do what a mommy's gotta do!

eveeleva where have you been?

2011-04-24T21:38:00.000+08:00

An anonymous someone left me a comment on my last post over a whole month ago. It said, ' No new posts?'.

Sorry peeps, it's been a madhouse here since then. The twins adjusted age (age from when they were due and not when they were born) is now about 2 months, which means they're staring to show social behaviour. They are smiling, cooing and loving company. Which also means that they like to chit-chat, fight the urge to sleep and therefore get really really cranky sometimes. One cranky baby is handful enough, imagine two!

They also still wake up for night feeds, and with 2 babies waking up at different times of the night and early morning, mommy and daddy are severely sleep deprived.

BUT things are slowly getting into gear and we're starting to get into a rhythm that does give me a better grasp of time. Tonight for example, it's 9.30pm and both are already fast asleep (but with a feed coming up in about a half hour to an hour and a half, depending on how well they sleep).

So I will be blogging again soon, but it will mostly be about the babies for now. There's nothing else happening in my life other than the two of them!

Till next time, I leave you with these 2 photos that we just took of them for their passports. I think they're incredibly cute, then again i AM their mother. *chuckle*

Guess who is who?

can u believe?

2011-03-15T20:33:00.002+08:00

can you believe it? after looking at my preggie pics...i just realised that...

i miss my baby bump!

man...never thought i'd every hear myself say it...

=P

the gang of 3

2011-03-08T07:05:00.000+08:00

soon...soon they will terrorise us ALL!

Any bets on who will be the ring leader???

lol

The day the milk came in

2011-03-08T07:00:00.002+08:00

So i was stressing day and night about how I wasn't yet able to totally breastfeed my babies and that my milk was slow coming in and that I was denying my twins a chance to have a healthy childhood because I wasn't born a natural cow.

To be honest, it was difficult. I was teary a lot. I'd cry to my hubby, telling him how useless I felt, how I felt like I was failing my children. He listened and at first didn't say anything much.

Until one night, he said," You know Eveel, it's ok if you can't breastfeed them. I'm just worried about you and the possibility of you slipping into PND (postnatal depression)."

That night, I thought about what he said and the reality of me slipping into PND. Afterall, I did suffer from antenatal depression, and therefore at higher risk of PND. I already have a follow up counselling session scheduled in a few weeks so the psychiatrist can check up on me.

So it suddenly occured to me that:

1. I was formula fed and I turned out ok. If I can't totally breastfeed my twins, I can be a great mother in other ways, and cook them super good food chockfull of antioxidents etc when their bigger, bring them to the park to get lots of exercise, pump them full of vitamins, etc.

2. Having a depressed non-functioning mother is much much worse than being bottle fed formula. I want my twins to enjoy me, the happy functioning full of joy Eveeleva that everyone knows and not the one who spends mornings crying in the shower depressed preggo Eveeleva.

So with a huge sigh, I told myself. SCREW it. I'll do my best and that's all anyone, including MYSELF, should expect of me.

Lo and behold, the next day, the milk came in. I guess I just had to stop stressing myself out about it.

I still don't have quite enough to feed both twins, but I take turns to feed them breastmilk. Some breastmilk is better than none at all right?

OI, i'm doing the best that i can lah... =)

A failure of a mother.

2011-03-07T19:33:00.001+08:00

I previously blogged about my breastfeeding woes. There was much interest about it, and I received many encouraging emails, calls and messages that I thought I'd update everyone about it. I

After combing through all the messages, advice and resources you folks sent me, I decided that it was time for me to stop with the excuses and get down to building up my milk supply, which after some rest and sleep i understood was poor because the babies were away from me for some time in the early days, and by the time they came home, we were all reliant on supplementing them with formula that my own milk supply went down. Low demand therefore low supply. No need to take Econs to understand this. Which was good, cos I never read Econs.

So i decided that to build my milk supply, I needed to start feeding on demand. That is, feed as often and whenever the baby so demands this.

DAY 1

I decided to start with just Upin. I parked myself on the sofa in the morning after their bath, and started feeding. It went well. But Upin didn't stop feeding, he just went on and on. Fed for short spells and slept on the breast. I managed to sneak a quick lunch.

BUT Upin got fussy about 3pm and started yelling his head off. I panicked and gave in to the bottle and bottle fed them the rest of the day.

Result- FAILURE.

I felt horrible for caving in with the bottle, and felt like an utter failure as a mother.

DAY 2

Decided that for this to work I had to tandem feed them. Both twins at one go. No excuses. Parked myself with my my Twin Breastfriend Feeding Pillow on the sofa and started again after their bath. Mom was such a darling, running around getting me drinks, and helping hold the babies when I needed a min to run to the loo for a pee break.

BUT Upin AND Ipin started getting fussy at 3pm. With both yelling their heads off, I panicked and caved into giving them the bottle and bottle fed them the rest of the day.

RESULT: FAILURE.

Felt like an even greater failure of a mother. Couldn't understand why they were fussing.

DAY 3

Realised that tandem feeding was overly ambitious and decided to just focus on one twin at a time. This time, I decided before hand that I would give Upin a bottle at the 3pm feeing juncture BEFORE he got a chance to get fussy.

When 3pm came and I saw the fussy signs coming, I gave him the bottle.

RESULT: SUCCESS.

Well not in the sense that I was successfully demand feeding. But, i didn't feel like a failure. That 3pm bottle was planned. I didn't feel half as discouraged as on days 1 and 2. And i continued to breastfeed him after his 3pm feed.

Baby steps right?

weightloss

2011-03-03T19:06:00.000+08:00

The one thing that is wonderful about my difficult pregnancy, aside from the 2 lil angels that were yanked out from my belly by Dr Tham, was the weightloss.

I started out at X kgs (okay I is still shy about my weight, cos those of you who know me, know that I am no kate moss!)

So Xkgs pre-pregnancy.

When I last weighed myself before I popped at 8 months, I was X+ 8.88 kg. (The nurses were so excited that they wanted to buy a 4D number!)

5 days after i delivered, I was X-1kg!

Can you believe? I was so excited that I had lost all my pregnancy weight and even dropped a kilo.

10 days after I delivered, I was X-3.5kg.

And now, almost a month after, I am at X-4.5kg.

I could have lost more I'm sure, but I haven't been able to keep my grubby hands off the chocolates, pineapple tarts and kek lapis in the fridge. Tsk right?

This morning, I pulled out my favourite pair of GAP jeans that were just a little too snug a few months before I was preggo, and it pulled up easily, with a little room to spare! yaay! And believe me, my tummy hasn't gone down just yet. So i hope i still have a few more kilos to go!

YAAAAAY!!!

thanks for the gifts!

2011-03-03T18:59:00.000+08:00

I am so grateful for the gifts and attention being showered to the twins!

Even if it includes Man United football kits. (How come my twins have not received any Liverpool stuff? Their daddy may be a Red Devil, but Mommy DID carry them around for 8 or so months!

And Mommy no likey the Red Devils!)

Thank you so much everyone!

XOXO, eveeleva

stretchmarks forever!

2011-02-24T13:45:00.000+08:00

When i went to my Obgyn to get my stitches removed, Dr Tham overheard me complain to the nurse about how bad my stretchmarks were.

He then said quite plainly, "They're not going to go away. Overstretched skin like yours won't heal like other women's. You'd have to go for laser treatment to remove the stretchmarks."

I responded with a "WHAT?"

So yeah, apparently carrying the twins caused my skin to overstretch and unlike other mommies who carry 1 baby, my stretchmarks are forever.

If i do decide to do the laser treatment thingee, which my doc said will cost about $7K at this point in time, then i'll have to make sure I do it, only after I've decided to sew my womb up, close shop and decide firmly not to contribute to our country's birthrate anymore.

Ah well....I have many more things to stress about aside from the stretchmarks, doesn't really bother me now that I have to live with them for much longer. It's like a proud war wound I can look at to remind me of the 'battle' I went through.

Sigh...only regret is that I won't be able to prance around in a 2 piece. =(

Breast vs Cup vs Bottle

2011-02-21T16:22:00.001+08:00

I know. Breast is best!

So when it was clear that my milk supply was slow in arrival and definitely insufficient for the 2 demanding babies, I had no choice but to give in to formula. But i made it very clear to the hospital, cup feeding only, please! I had heard enough about nipple confusion from breastfeeding nazis to know that it was cupfeeding and NO bottle!

That worked all well and good while the nurses were cupfeeding Upin and Ipin. And even though I was given lessons in cupfeeding, I later realised that it is an art that takes time, practice, patience and above all alertness. Cupfeeding is almost impossible when you're continuously feeding 2 babies in a sleep deprived mode. I found that I was pouring more milk down my twin's shirts than into their cute lil mouths!

Cupfeeding lil Upin at a decent hour was manageable most of the time.

Regardless of the challenges, i was determined to continue, even if it meant snapping at my hubby at wee hours of the morning, being short with the twins when they weren't 'cooperating' and feeling increasingly exasperated at my inability to satisfy the appetites of my lil babies.

But when a follow up trip to the pediatrician revealed that the twins were losing weight rather than gaining weight, I had to listen to my husband who softly said, 'We have to think about what is best for the boys, not what is ideal for ourselves'. I also had to listen to the pediatrician AND my obgyn who hinted that if cupfeeding wasn't working, I should think about the bottle.

I caved the next day, when I split a whole cupfull of milk all over lil Ipin's front. I took the bottle out, filled it with formula and gave it to him.

lil Ipin being bottle fed my grandma

I felt guilty for awhile. And fearful that they'll reject my boobie after enjoying the fast flowing milk supply from a bottle. But thankfully, they still want my boobie. Yaay! And now, feeding times are much quicker, I am less stressed out at night and enjoying the mommy experience so much more.

So there.

first few days- survival mode

2011-02-21T15:34:00.002+08:00

On hindsight, it was quite a blessing that lil' Ipin didn't come home at the same time as his brother Upin. It meant that hubby and I had some time to get used to having 1 baby around at home, and the routine of night-time feeds before having to tackle 2 demanding lil babies.

Now, I had grand plans to tandem breastfeed the 2 of them, i.e. feed them at the same time. But, as usual, I forgot to consider the curve balls life throws at you. Not only did Ipin come back later than Upin, being smaller he didn't suckle as well, and had challenges latching on. Tandem feeding was almost impossible because I had to spend extra time fussing over Ipin. So, I had to flush down the toilet bowl my wonderful idea of saving time by tandem feeding.

It didn't help either that my breastmilk is taking forever to make its grand appearance. Definitely insufficient supply for 2 babies. So i've had to supplement with formula. This means that feeds take doubly long.

Hence, the programme, considering that cup-feeding each twin took an hour was as such:

1st hour: Feed 1 Twin
2nd hour: Feed the other Twin
3rd hour: Sterilise stuff, express breastmilk if nec, take a short 20 min/half hour nap.

Then REPEAT CYCLE, all day AND night long.

Lil Upin enjoying his sleep...if only mummy could sleep like that too!

All in all, I was lucky if i had 2-3 hours of sleep a day.

Yes, yes, although I have no confinement nanny helping me, I am staying with my mom. BUT she doesn't help with nightfeeds. In fact, I try not to tap on her help for ANY feeds, trying to do it all by myself. I think its important for me to learn how to not depend on others to help with the twins. Of course, the hubby is excluded from the 'others' category!

Lil Ipin, not quite happy, that his nap was disturbed for a bath!

But i do depend on my mom to help me bathe the twins in the morning, and wipe them down in the evenings. I could do it myself, but I think having a extra long shower in the morning and in the evenings helps me cope better the rest of the day.

I'm not discounting how difficult it is to take care of 1 baby, but me tackling 2 babies got me thinking that 1 baby can't be all that bad! =P

Now, did I start feeling that I hadn't sent out an eviction notice to the twins quite so early. No no no! I was happier being sleep deprived because of the activity, rather than sleep deprived due to the inactivity of my labourious pregnancy. LOL.

Upin and Ipin back together again...

2011-02-17T15:49:00.000+08:00

Friday, 12 February 2011

Upin and Ipin reunited!

Our family, at last, felt complete.

Lil Ipin

2011-02-17T15:39:00.001+08:00

Wednesday, 09 February 2011

Lil Ipin

As soon as I arrived home from being discharged from the hospital, I had lunch and rushed back to the hospital to feed my babies who were still stuck in the nursery ward. I could only take them out to feed them, and not a minute longer as they needed to be back under photo-therapy. So precious moments were spent in the breast-feeding room near Ward 3.

Doctor Loh, the pediatrician, made it very clear to me that the issue he was worried about for Twin 2 was his falling birthweight. He was born at 2.29kg, which is a decent weight for a full-term baby but for a baby born at the end of 34 weeks gestation, he needed a little more observation. He did say he could ask the nurse to give Twin 2, Ipin, more formula per feed, but at such a young gestation and low birthweight, it was likely that his digestive system wasn't very well-developed and more formula would work against him rather than for him. Breastmilk or colostrum was best, and he encouraged me to express and come feed Ipin when I could.

So i did, camp myself at Thomson, ignoring my general fatigue, little discomfort from my c-section wound to nurse my baby back into my arms.

We were delighted to have Twin 1, Upin, return with us the very next day. But Ipin was held back for another 2 days. Every moment I spent with him in the breastfeeding room was precious! He was a fiesty little thing, and despite my breastmilk not coming in as quickly as I had hoped, the nurses still encouraged me to nurse him.

I also met many mothers in the breastfeeding room. One of them had a preemie baby at 32 weeks who was at NICU. She was also expressing for him, but couldn't feed him herself as he couldn't suckle yet. Instead she fed him by tube. It was the 2nd week for her, with no indication yet, when she could bring him home.

We both shared how painful it was to leave the hospital without our babies, and how we never expected our time in cofinement to be spent confined in the hospital.

I counted myself really lucky, that both Upin and Ipin made it as far as they did, with a decent birthweight to boot. And that Ipin, maybe had only a day or two more in nursery, before I could bring him home. And i pray really hard that the mommy i met will soon be able to bring her baby home with her.

without my babies...

2011-02-17T15:19:00.002+08:00

Monday, 07 February 2011

I was surprised enough when on the day that I delivered my twin boys, my OBGYN Dr Tham said that I could be discharged the following day. Well, technically I could. I was already up and about 12hrs after the c-section. I had pee-ed and i had poo-ed. And i also had been walking up and down the hospital corridors to get some exercise.

BUT, because people told me to take the opportunity to rest in hospital, I decided to stay till Monday, a total of 2 nights in hospital.

But when Monday rolled along, I was horrified to be informed by the pediatrician taking care of my twins that he'd have to hold them back in hospital. The twins had jaundice. And Dr Low was worried about the weight of twin 2, which was falling and falling.

Yes, I know that newborns usually lose 7-10% of their bodyweight in the first week, BUT my babies were born at the end of their 34th week of gestation. Hence, there was a need to be extra careful.

I couldn't bear to leave my babies behind, and asked to stay one more night. Knowing full well, that they'd not be able to go home with me the next day either. That one extra night, knowing that I could see them at least for all their feeding times was soo important to me!

While I was deliberating on whether to stay an extra night or to be discharged, Dr Tham jokingly teased me, ' Your life is so aimless (w/out the twins) already?'

And he was right. It was totally aimless and pointless without my boys.

By the time the next day came along, I was mentally prepared to leave the hospital without either twins. Yet, as soon as I got into the car, and my hubby drove off, the tears kept rolling off my cheeks.

For the first time since we were married, WE felt incomplete.

The proud grandmas with the twins

The day my life changed

2011-02-08T07:03:00.000+08:00

04 February 2011

I caught the flu bug that was going around the house. Mum first got it, passed it to dad, passed it to sis, who passed it back to dad, to mum, and back to sis. It was inevitable, after avoiding the flu for 2 weeks, that I finally succumbed to it.

It was also the 2nd day of the Chinese New Year, the clinics were closed. So i took some panadol and spent the day in bed. I was just thankful that the rash on my stretchmarks seemed to have tapered off. The itch was bearable and I was able to rest well.

With the flu, I didn't think any differently about the backache that developed in the late afternoon. And with the long hours I was napping, I didn't think any differently about the mild cramp-type feeling I was experiencing. I thought it was merely the usual cramp type feeling i get for staying in one position too long.

But i had a naggy strange feeling about it by the evening. I thought, could it be? Could i be experiencing contractions?

It wasn't the first time the question crossed my mind. So i just did as I used to, go about my daily business, but conscious of the fact that if the aches and cramps intensified that I had something to worry about. But it didn't seem to intensify, it didn't come and go, it was just slight and persistent.

By 10pm, I was even more feverish, my body was aching and something was telling me that something was not quite right. Although, I was quite sure I wasn't in labour. I thought it could just be the Braxton Hicks contractions if anything.

After telling my husband that we should go to the hospital, and then changing my mind a couple of times, we finally left our home about about 11.30pm or so. We arrived at the hospital just about midnight.

05 February 2011

Lucky for us, we did. For i WAS in labour, though i didn't know it, and by the time the nurse checked me I was 3-4 cm dilated already. The funny thing was throughout the first half hour in the hospital, they kept asking me if I was having contractions, and I would pull a funny face and say, " I don't know". I really didn't. It wasn't painful or anything, just mild backpains and crampy feelings, that was all.

At one point, I even turned to the nurse and asked her ," So AM I in labour?"

She gave me an exasperated look and said,"Yes dear, and quite far along!"

So my OBGYN was called and the Operating Theatre (OT) was ready even before he arrived, so in a matter of minutes I was whisked into the OT, and at 1:13am I heard my firstborn (Upin) scream his lungs off, and shortly after at 1:14am my secondborn (Ipin) joined the chorus!

After getting to hold them for a few seconds, the pediatrician whisked them off for a thorough check-up and Mr Eveel went with the babies. While I was left in the good hands of my OBGYN who, without my knowledge, was battling another new battle for me.

I was bleeding profusely. My uterus was over-distended and what they call 'soft', and it wasn't contracting as it should have been. The long and the short of, what I recall in my hazy drugged up state, was that we were in the OT much longer than a routine C-section. I had to have a blood transfusion, up to 4 bags of blood, and a platelet transfusion. It was all quite dramatic I remember, as the blood platelets had to be sent from another hospital.

And the last words my doctor said to the nurse was ," I think she'll be ok. She should be ok. I'll go home and pray that tomorrow morning, she'll be ok!"

When I tell friends this, they gasp in horror, saying that it would have freaked them out. I on the other hand was quite calm, mostly because I was groggy from the epidural, nauseas from the medication that they injected to help my uterus contract, and vomiting into a bowl next to me. I also had 110% faith in my OBGYN and well, trusted him with my life. So it's quite important you find a doctor that you are totally comfortable with.

But I'm ok. And the twins are Great!

So welcome to the world Upin and Ipin!

Upin, born 1:13am on 05 Feb 2011

Ipin, born 1:14am on 05 Feb 2011

my twin pregnancy journal- eviction notice

2011-01-28T14:08:00.002+08:00

Ame sent me a link to this photo saying that she thought of me when she saw it.

It made me laugh. I definitely am feeling like an eviction notice is in order!

I am also wondering whether this photo was airbrushed.

This mother has little if any stretchmarks.

Mine, on the other hand, have taken a life of its own.

And oh so itchy too!

my twin pregnancy journal- you don't understand!

2011-01-28T09:00:00.001+08:00

33 weeks

Despite not putting on much weight, I am HUGE!

Besides the usual backaches that people associate with pregnancy, I suffer from a lot of discomfort such as, pain and aches in the lower part of my belly, probably because of the weight of the babies. My pelvic area hurts too, and my upper thigh muscles quickly tense up and get stiff after a short while of sitting down stationary. So everytime i get up from sitting down, I struggle a little to walk, and often look like I'm shuffling or waddling as the muscles get moving.

The other night, mum saw me get up from the couch to go to the toilet and she remarked, "Eveel, can't you walk a little nicer. You look awful shuffling around like that"

Her remark just blew my top off!

I retorted ," Excuse me, mother. I am carrying 4.4 kilos worth of babies right now at 33 weeks. How heavy was your heaviest baby at full term? Tell me, how heavy?"

She laughed and replied ," Oh, bout 3kilos"

I then went on a long diatribe about how she and ANY other mother who has never carried twins before has NO idea what I and other twin mothers are going through, and therefore should do what is right- which is to keep their mouths SHUT!

my twin pregnancy journal- breastfeeding fears

2011-01-27T12:10:00.002+08:00

33 weeks

I picked up my medela freestyle breastpump earlier this week. After reading the instructions and going through all the stuff in the box, i stuffed everything nicely back into the box. I haven't even charged the batteries yet. I'm not sure when i'll use it, maybe not the first few weeks maybe? I'm not sure.

I woke up this morning at 4am for my usual pee break and to turn, which i do periodically every 2 hours these days. And as i sat on my bed, my head flopped forward half awake, waiting for my muscles to warm up a little before getting up to go to the loo, i thought, 'This would be how it would be like waking up for late feeds i suppose'.

Then i started panicking about the logistics about how i will be able to concurrently feed Upin and Ipin. I started fretting- what if i drop them, what if 1 or worse, both, roll off the bed. Would I have to get hubby to help me, wouldn't he be too tired for work the next day if he doesn't get proper rest. It went on and on and on...till i found myself wide awake at 4am.

I couldn't go back to sleep. Ended up making myself toast and an omelette and having a super early breakfast. Ah well, i suppose i'll figure it out...

Yikes!

my twin pregnancy journal- update on upin and ipin

2011-01-27T12:02:00.002+08:00

33 weeks

Check up last Saturday went very well. Upin and Ipin are about 2.2 kilos each, which is a good weight. In fact, my baby centre update for 33 weeks for a single baby went something like- ' Your baby is about 2 kilos by now'...lol... mine are 0.2 kilos heavier than an average singleton baby at 33 weeks!

In fact, i still have a good supply of amniotic fluid in each bag, which doctor says means that the babies still have plenty of space to grow bigger. YIKES!

The extremely good news i heard was that at 33 weeks, Upin and Ipin have about a 100% chance of survival if they are delivered now. They may need just special care, and doc assured me that the chances of taking them home almost immediately is very good!

Here's a happy mommy...counting down to seeing my 2 little babies...

Useful Xmas Pressie

2011-01-18T17:17:00.000+08:00

One of my Xmas gifts came packed into this lil bag that I found so delightful.

While it was packed with fabulous goodies, it was this little bag that I found sooo useful.

I'm not sure if the bag itself was meant to be a present, or just something convenient to hold the pressies in...but it was my favourite of the goodies it came with.

I've been just been absolutely everywhere with it!

Although, when the babies come, it'll be way too small for all the baby stuff i'll have to lug around!

hubby's new look

2011-01-18T17:13:00.001+08:00

He was huddling over the macbook as usual one evening, when I realised that he was squinting at the screen. It all seemed to click. He'd been complaining of headaches, and with the squinting...perhaps...just perhaps...hubby needed glasses.

I dragged him to the optomotrist, and what did you know? He DID need glasses. And not only that, his astigmatism was worse than mine! And I've had my glasses now for over 5 years!

It took forever for vain hubby to pick a pair of glasses, and although he liked a pair that made him look quite nerdy, he picked one that suited him a little more! Bringing out the mat in him!

LOL!

my twin pregnancy journal- a'wristed' development!

2011-01-18T17:06:00.000+08:00

32 weeks

As if nothing else could go wrong! I've had what i thought was just a strained wrist for some time now. But a chance meeting with an aunt who used to be a physiotherapist warned that my symptoms weren't a simple wrist twist, but something to do with my ligaments. She also told me that if it WAS what she suspected, I'd need steroid injections or if it got worse...surgery!

So, having avoided a visit to the doctor about it for quite awhile. I reluctantly went, and as I feared, it was ligament damage. And as I had also suspected, there's nothing that can be done for me now to help with the pain because of my pregnancy. No oral medication, and I can't do steroid injections. Now, I had expected all this news, and so wasn't quite bummed...

Until...

My mom, who was with me at the doctor, asked if my new found hobby of crocheting had been a factor in my hurting my wrist. Although i yelped out frantically that the pain had begun before i started crocheting, my doctor sternly said, 'No more'. He warned that if I continued with the constant repetitive action with my wrist, the damage could worsen, and I may find even carrying a baby's bottle really difficult.

So, a wasted trip to the yarn shop the day before. Bundles of yarn that cannot fulfill its destiny to be elephants and monkeys for the twins and for nephew Mik.

*SOB*

my twin pregnancy journal- going out is just hard to do

2011-01-13T20:34:00.000+08:00

week 31

Moi was really excited that I had a hospital appointment today at KKH to see my counsellor (read: psychiatrist). I was really looking forward to doing some shopping at the hospital for last minute baby stuff and then heading out to town for awhile to get a book at Kinokuniya at Taka. I was also hoping to head to Ang Mo Kio central to get more yarn to finish the 2 other elephants i'm crocheting for my twins.

What i've learnt is that- it is almost impossible now to gallavant. Just a month ago, I could take the shuttle from the hospital to the nearby MRT station, and walk around Orchard AND take the MRT home.

But not anymore.

Just the 500m walk down the corridor from the hospital clinic to the nearby mothercare outlet left me wheezing. Even with a cab-ride to Taka, I still had to sit down for a break, just walking through Kinokuniya! In fact, throughout my half-hour trip in Kinokuniya, I sat down for a total of 3 times for about a total of 15 minutes. Thank goodness I knew what i wanted to find and the sales assistants were very helpful. PLUS Kino isn't as crowded as Borders, and there were many benches that I could park my lardbutt on for a break.

The rest of the trip was a physical strain. I needed to get something from Taka itself and did it as quickly as i could. I also needed to make a trip to the pharmacy, and by the end of it I was breathless and feeling giddy. I parked myself on a bench, next to the loo, for ten minutes just trying to catch my breath. Luckily for me I had a bottle of water to help me keep hydrated and cool.

The queue for the taxi was equally strenuous. There were no seats, and I was just praying that someone would let me just jump ahead of the queue. People stared at me, with looks of disbelief that I was probably out and about, seeing how huge I was, but noone offered to let me jump ahead of the queue! It wasn't as if there were no taxis available, it was just that the turning out of Taka is quite busy, and the taxi movement was slower than it could be.

The taxi ride back was terrible. I was giddy, and I spent ten minutes upon reaching home, with my head in a plastic bag, puking out what little I had for breakfast. I spent the rest of the afternoon being giddy and tired. And dissappointed I didn't even manage to make my yarn stop!

That's it. No more outings I think. At least without hubby, who can help fuss over me. Definitely shouldn't be gallavanting on my own anymore.

=(

elephants!

2011-01-10T21:03:00.000+08:00

I'm huge now and work is just impossible. My back always feels like its breaking and it's just difficult to move around. So i've started my stay at home for the next 6 weeks before i deliver and go on maternity.

I'm lucky that my OBGYN has asked me to rest at home, and supplied me with the necessary MC for it, and I also saved up 21 days of leave from last year that I can take at leisure now. So what am i going to be up to for the next 6 weeks you say?

Oh I have some ideas up my sleeve. I've been cross-stitching and also crocheting- amigurami.

This is a cross-stitch of a book character called Humphrey. I hope to frame it and put it up in the twin's nursery when our place is ready. I hope to get some Humphrey books too, so that they know who Humphrey is.

And this is an elephant i crocheted! The friend helped teach me, and I went crazy with the crochet needles. This was my first try, using some of her leftover yarn. I've gotten some blue and purple yarn, and i'm going to crochet another 2 for the twins. I won't let them play with it when they're born of course, as i'm afraid the eyes will fall out, but hope to also decorate the nursery with them! =)

Oh, don't ask me why i decided to make elephants! Beats me!

my twin pregnancy journal- antenatal blues

2011-01-10T20:54:00.000+08:00

week 31

The truth is, I've been suffering from ante-natal blues. I'm not depressed, but i've felt down enough to shed a couple of tears.

It started during my first trimester. Then it was about the horrible morning sickness, which left me feeling not quite myself. I was also bummed that I was not at work, and not my usual productive self, and would have episodes where i would breakdown crying in the shower. I remember just feeling so shitty and not myself, and feeling like this was all too much for me.

One episode saw me bawling my eyes out at my OBGYN's office, simply reacting to his question, "How are you, Eveel?" It didn't surprise me that I was referred to see a counsellor (read: psychiatrist) at KKH. Of course my OBGYN made it very clear that it was all the hormones and it would be helpful to have someone to talk to.

My first session went terribly. I cried for the whole 1hr session. I remember crying that I was afraid that I would lose the pregnancy fearing that the first miscarriage episode would repeat itself, I remember crying that I didn't feel happy, that I didn't feel I knew who I was, etc. The counsellor was very nice, telling me that what I was going through was just an 'adjustment' problem with the pregnancy, possibly brought upon by the extra load of hormones that a twin pregnancy brought along.

After the 1st trimester blues were over, I felt better. So i didn't have many sessions with the counsellor during my 2nd trimester, the counsellor did decide to see me during my 3rd trimester, just to check that my mood hadn't gotten worse then, especially when I was expected to get big, uncomfortable and probably cranky from lack of sleep.

True to what was expected, I was back to my crying state again, scaring my husband shitless. The worst episode, was one morning on the way to work. I just couldn't bring myself to go into the office. I stopped for brekkie at McDonald's at Rider's Park (at Queenstown). And when i got back into the car and started it, I just started bawling. Cried and cried and cried. It felt like the whole world was collapsing around me. Called my husband, who told me to go straight back home!

Then the crying and the weeping started again. It was largely the hormones, AGAIN!

And the culprit was these hormone pills , at quite large doses too, that my doctor made me take to keep the twins safe and happy. It was also administered during my first trimester too, and we suspected that it was the cause of all my unhappiness.

The counsellor wrote to my doctor, asking him if it was ok to reduce the dosage of that particular pill, or remove it completely. He did, and instead upped the dosage of another medication that I was suffering no adverse effects from and almost instantaneously...*tadah* i was back to my regular self.

I've been shy to talk about this really. It's like a failing of some sort. You know, you're suppose to be happy and pregnant, enjoy being pregnant, be rosy and glowy. But i was the total opposite of it.

I am starting to open up about it, and i think people should know that pregnancy is hard. Even without extra hormone pills, your hormones ARE everywhere, and preggie people do get weepy and emotional just because. And it is such a physically challenging phase too. And it's ok. I mean great if you have a rosy and happy pregnancy, but it's ok if you suffer the blues too!

my twin pregnancy journal- the stretchmarks are here!

2011-01-10T19:55:00.000+08:00

31 weeks

Hurrah! The stretchmarks are here!

In case you're a dense idiot...i'm being sarcastic!

All the bio-oil and cocoa butter i've been lathering on myself have not been able to save me from the dreaded stretchmarks.

To be fair, it was a losing battle to begin with. There was no way, with 2 huge babies resting and growing very very well in my belly, was my skin going to stretch gracefully without breaking into stretchmarks.

I try and remind myself of what a friend's hubby called her stretchmarks, he called them lovemarks. Reminders of how much love and joy she brought into the world.

Sweet...though i'd prefer no stretchmarks still! =)

my twin pregnancy journal- much to be thankful for

2011-01-03T09:10:00.001+08:00

week 30

Honestly, I felt a bit guilty yesterday. No, make it a LOT guilty yesterday. Guilty for complaining and whining about the discomforts of this pregnancy that I'm experiencing.

Went to the extended family gathering yesteday, where MANY ooohed and aaaahed over my huge baby belly. I have some relatives who are trying very very hard to have babies, and some who have given up, who rubbed and rubbed my baby belly, hoping that some of the luck would rub off on them and that they would jangkit (be infected) by my pregnancy.

I supposed I'd be the same, if this was back to 1 year ago, and seeing a baby belly would make me terribly jealous.

I AM thankful! I've always been! I just needed to whine and complain, cos it does hurt, it was difficult. I mean it still is. But I'm thankful that we're this far along, and that we're having TWINS!

BUT, I also need to remind myself everyday that this is a blessing that not everyone has been or will be blessed with and that hubby and I have so much to be thankful for.

Alhamdullillah...

my twin pregnancy journal- Maxi Maternity?

2011-01-01T21:14:00.002+08:00

Week 30

Because i'm huge, most of my clothes, even the maternity stuff is getting tight.

BUT, today I fished out my favourite ZARA Maxi dress, which doubles up wonderfully as a maternity dress too!

I felt Fab and pretty today, i did!

It was a good way to kick-start the New Year!

(Oh, excuse the birkies. I was really prioritising comfort
above all else!)

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T21:10:00.001+08:00

It was a Happy New Year!

For the first time in 5 years, hubby and I counted down at home. Last year we were at Home Club, the year before we were at Blue Jazz Cafe, the year before we watched the fireworks, the year before that we were at Zouk, and the first year we spent NYE together we went to Home Club.

This year we stayed home. I was way too tired to even think about venturing out of my bed to countdown to the New Year. And even though i gave him my full blessings to party away without me, I was absolutely delighted that he chose to stay with me at home.

Next year, babies or no- we're headed out to party!

I also started the New Year feeling absolutely thrilled to catch up with someone whom I've missed terribly. The former boss invited us to his home to thank us for his grand farewell party, and also cos i think he missed us too!

He cooked up a storm- but nothing could compare to the wonderful fish-head curry he served us!

Pretty Gift

2010-12-31T22:20:00.002+08:00

One of my fav Xmas gifts received this year.

The girlfriend, who i'm not even that close with, crocheted the brooch herself.

And she's now teaching me how to crochet some animals for the twins!

I hope to show off some of my work soon!

NYE party- secret angel

2010-12-31T22:11:00.003+08:00

We were assigned someone to be a secret angel to. We had to get them a gift, and write a clue to who it was from.

I received this very ME scarf with a clue that read:

" To my taugeh...from your taupok"

=)

I knew immediately who it was from. Taupok has been a close friend in the office for many years now. And someone i'll miss terribly while i'm away, and definitely in my new posting.

Cheers Taupok!

End of the road

2010-12-31T22:07:00.000+08:00

The department officially bade me farewell today. I go on MC in a week, for 3 weeks and then I clear 1 month worth of leave I've saved up over the year, before going on maternity for 4 months. I'll then be posted out to another department to begin a new chapter in my professional career.

It's been 5 or so years since I've been with my current department, and my posting is certainly long overdue. I've been quite bored for quite some time, and really just need some new challenges in my professional life. I was supposed to start at a new posting in 2011, but with my pregnancy, it made sense to hold all things off till after my maternity leave.

As i look forward to something new, I do sometimes wonder whether I should have held off my departure for a bit. Afterall, I'm going to through a massive life-changing event in a couple of weeks, and coping with a new role as a mother. A new work-role, in a brand new environment could be too much for me? But there's been many changes in the department that I really don't like, and don't wish to stick around for, that this also seems like the best time to move ever!

I think for 2011, I resolve to take everything in my stride. The challenge of raising twins, a new job, a new house, everything. I'll make it. I always have. And i'm sure I will again. More confidently, I know I have an army of souls who love and care for me, to lend me all the support and courage I need to get through 2011. =)

my farewell gift- a huge crumpler bag for

baby stuff!

cupcake found!

2010-12-30T14:29:00.001+08:00

forgot all about the cupcake brooch that imp gifted,

until i stumbled across it while spring-cleaning!

LOVE IT!

my twin pregnancy journal- helping my sweet tooth along

2010-12-30T14:15:00.004+08:00

week 29

So. I have always had a sweet tooth. And although it's tapered off drastically when i got pregnant and morning sickness came along, it's returned in my 3rd trimester. But definitely not back to my pre-pregnancy levels of chocolate and sweet indulgence. Even so, i was quite bummed that the gestational diabetes meant that i couldn't indulge my sweet tooth.

But I was totally rocked when i found among my mum's recipe stacks, a recipe for low-fat, low-sugar wholemeal pancakes! I made the poutiest face I could pull and asked mum if she'd whip me a batch for brekkie on Saturday. And she did!

I thought i'd go without any syrup...cos i'm all diabetic and all..but on a random trip to the supermarket the next day, I came across a bottle of diabetic maple syrup. I didn't even flinch at the pricey $10 pricetag and added it into my shopping basket.

I was in heaven on Saturday, with my wholemeal pancakes and my diabetic maple syrup!

my twin pregnancy journal- pretty purple dress

2010-12-27T21:57:00.001+08:00

week 29

Headed out to a wedding on Sunday afternooon. The groom is a very close friend of my lil brother. They went to secondary school together, and is a close friend who i too had gotten to know over the years. So although i wasn't feeling up to it, and feeling altogether FAT- in a whale-kinda way, i dragged myself out.

It was also a good excuse to wear my pretty maternity dress that i had purchased just for weddings. I had only wore it once, and it was already quite tight. The dress itself is big, but the inner lining is a little smaller.
I was surprised that it was looser this time.

This gestational diabetes diet has helped me shave a few kilos it seems! Even some of my colleagues have remarked that my face looks slimmer. I just hope the babies are still growing well! =)

my twin pregnancy journal- HUGE!

2010-12-27T21:52:00.002+08:00

week 29

I am HUGE! I look like I am 40 weeks pregnant. I'm so huge, that even sales assistants ask me while i'm shopping when i'm due. I figure they're all worried that I'm going to deliver right there on the shopping floor while they're on duty. And they're all shocked, with mouths wide opened when i tell them that i'm only due end of Feb!

Imp took a snapshot of me while we were gallavanting at Ikea during a lunch break. And i too was surprised by just how huge i looked.

but the good news is that, i don't look that pregnant from the back!

Well, i have only put on 9 kilos since i got preggie, and my bump is huge, so most of that weight must have gone to the babies...in fact, i think i myself may have lost a lil weight during the pregnancy...what with 5 months of morning sickness!

I'm just wondering, how much bigger i'll get!

my twin pregnancy journal- preparing for upin and ipin

2010-12-27T21:39:00.001+08:00

week 28

I'm finalising my preparation for Upin and Ipin's arrival. I've managed to clear out enough space in our already tiny room for all the baby stuff my sis-in-law has passed to me. Yes, my babies aren't going to be too good for hand-me-downs. In fact i'm quite thankful for all the stuff that she's passed on to me.

Made me really happy to arrange all the stuff nicely into what used to be my undie drawer!

I'm also getting especially excited about expecting twins..although i can go on and on about the pains of carrying 2 babies right now...but everytime i see all the cute lil twin type clothes that's been gifted...i go all weak in the knees and all teary too!

my twin pregnancy journal- gestational diabetes

2010-12-27T21:09:00.002+08:00

week 27

It sucks! It's xmas time and there are goodies galore, and i won't be able to indulge my sweet tooth, which has just returned this trimester, in all the xmas goodies because i've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes.

Of course, i have to experience like almost every negative symptom of pregnancy there is. I had 5 months worth of morning sickness, hemmarhoids and now gestational diabetes. And you know, this condition was the condition i was so confident i wouldn't get.

I do have a sweet tooth, but the sweet tooth disappeared as soon as i got preggie. I've not been over-indulging in food, and i've only put on 10 kilos since i got preggie. Make it 9 kilos, i've managed to lose 1 kilo over the last 2 weeks! Even my colleague who's put on 20 kilos, carrying ONE baby, didn't get it. Nooooo but i did!

Sigh...last week i had to go through 2 days of self-testing of my blood sugar levels on 6 meals a day diet my doctor has put me on. The diet's not too bad, like i said, i haven't been over-indulging. The new diet is basically the same as when i was not on a diet, except i've cut out my sweetened yoghurts, sweetened cereals (like cococrunch) and the marigold choc puddings i've been indulging in. Oh and my occasional ginger beer, which was really to help my morning sickness.

But still...i'm NOW craving the sugar and the chocolates....and i can't have any...

sigh.

my twin pregnancy journal- the dreaded hemmarhoids

2010-12-14T13:22:00.001+08:00

week 27

Initially, I was embarrassed about this situation I'm in. But it really is something that is very common among pregnant women. About 20-50% of pregnant women would experience hemorrhoids during pregnancy.

It started last Saturday. We were attending a friend's wedding and were on the way back home, when i felt something as I plonked myself into the car. I told hubby, 'hmm...i think i have that errr...ummm...condition. I can't remember what's its called, but i highly suspect it'. Hubby of course didn't know what i was talking about. I fished for my phone and googled it, and exclaimed- HEMORRHOIDS!

I quickly forgot about it though. I fell asleep exhausted as soon as I reached home. But it did bother me the next morning, and I quickly asked hubby to send me to the doctor. It was confirmed. I had 2 prolapsed hemorrhoids and 1 internal one. Doctor sent me home to rest in bed, with suppositories and cream to help the pain.

And boy, did it hurt! I spent the next 3 days grimacing at my every move. Most of them just shifting from lying on my right to my left, as i laid in bed fighting back the tears, wishing that the 70 odd days that stood between me and my EDD would come as quickly as possible.

Then the bleeding began. It first started out as very light streaks of blood. Nothing that worried me very much. And then on Thursday, it really started to bleed. I was soaking pads up so quickly!

We rushed back to my GP who proclaimed that this was beyond her and that I had to see a specialist immediately. She made an appointment for me at Mount Alvernia with a Dr Cosmas Chen (i was in no mood to even be amused by his name), and we hurried over to see him. She said that he would probably do a rubber band ligation procedure on the hemorrhoids, which would stop the bleeding.

BUT, Dr Cosmas told me that my hemorrhoids were way too big for that! And if I weren't pregnant, he'd be wheeling me into surgery right that moment. Now anyone else would be freaked out by now, but this Dr was smart enough to calm me down the moment i walked through the doors, and told me that he would take care of me and that everything was going to be fine. So i didn't panic and was generally calm.

He managed to stop the bleeding, shoved the hemorrhoids back where they belonged for awhile, and told me that the best way to manage this was through an aggressive course of oral medication which he assured me was safe for the babies. And that I had to keep pushing my hemorrhoids back to where they belong at least 3 times a day and proceeded to scold and nag me about having a diet high in fibre.

The worst case scenario, is that I start bleeding again. I can't stop it, and he can't stop it. Then he'd be forced to operate on me on local anesthesia...NOT General Anesthesia! YIKES!

It's been about 4 days now, I haven't had much problems, and only slight discomfort. but i have to take care of this until the babies are born... so I've been watching my diet, eating lots of fruits, cos I wouldn't want to have to be awake when Dr Cosmas prods around down there....

sigh.....

9 weeks to go.....

my twin pregnancy journal- feeling weighed down

2010-11-28T15:32:00.001+08:00

25 weeks

I've gained 10 kilos since i got pregnant. Doctor Tham expects me to put on another 2.5 kilos every 3 weeks, so i'm expected to put on another 10 kilos before i deliver at 37 weeks. That's absolutely crazy!
When was the last time i put on 20 kilos within a year? Never lah!

Sigh.

The good news is that the twins are about 900g each. Doc said that he'd have been pleased if they were between 500-800g at this stage. Well, i guessed it, I'm carrying giant twins. This explains why i'm so huge, my back is killing me, and my brother thinks i look like a whale.

I do feel like a whale..a beached whale. Put me in water, and i'm a-okay. I glide effortlessly, weightless and serene. But once i'm out on land, it's just a constant struggle.

And expectedly, with 2 giant babies, and the extra hormones running around, i've been feeling down. i'm still feeling blessed that i'm expecting twins and happy that their progressing well, and right at this moment, apparently playing a game of futsal in my tummy...but i've just been feeling down.

It really has something to do with just not feeling like a shadow of myself. Sigh. It really doesn't help when i tell some people about how i feel, to hear them say, "oh, you'll never feel like yourself again!".
crap lah! Even so, let me find out on my own. I really need to stop talking to these party poopers. Yeesh!

my twin pregnancy journal- introducing Upin and Ipin

2010-10-31T12:52:00.002+08:00

21 weeks

I used to joke with close family and friends before I was preggo, that if I had twin boys, I would name them Upinuddin and Ipinuddin after the famous local malay cartoon characters Upin and Ipin. The 'uddin' addition was because the hubby and my father's name both end with 'uddin'. So i thought it was cute.

image from Les' Copaque production

When we found out we were preggo with twins, my brother yelped in delight, referring to the twins as Upin and Ipin, even though we didn't know their gender yet.

Well. 21 weeks later. It's confirmed. We're expecting twin boys! And No, we won't name them Upinuddin and Ipinuddin, although I think the name choice is really cute. Their daddy has enforced his right to veto.

But i'll refer to them as Upin and Ipin for now. =) May make nice nicknames for them- though i hope they won't get beaten up in school because of them. LOL.

Anyways...Upin and Ipin are making their presence known now. I feel them 'plooping' and wriggling away in my tummy now. It's quite a delightful feeling, just very distracting some times, especially when i'm presenting something at work!

LOL.

my twin pregnancy journal- stripes!

2010-10-31T10:03:00.003+08:00

21 weeks

I've always always loved stripes! Horizontal stripes! What's not to love about them? Except of course, if you have a broad waist or a paunch, it isn't the most forgiving pattern to wear. So all my life I've steered cleared of stripes, although i've always secretly wanted to wear them. My not so slim waist and my humongous ass has forced me to steer clear of them.

Until NOW!

I always told myself that pregnancy would be the best time to wear horizontal stripes! =) So when i went online to purchase some maternity tops, I made sure I had some stripes in my cart. I went a bit mad and filled almost my entire cart with stripes..but some sanity kicked in right before i entered my credit card digits, to pare them down, to 2. Now i wish i had ordered more! =)

cheering up!

2010-10-28T21:18:00.002+08:00

i've had a horrible horrible week,
been working late at home,
there's so many things outstanding i haven't settled,
and i'm just finding it difficult to cope,
i've even been working late at home,
and did i mention my back is killing me.

this morning,
i was rushing to work as i had a meeting with 2 overseas guests,
the only team member left in the office who could help,
called in sick,
so i had to go get the refreshments,
and set up all by myself,
plus the guests arrived a whole hour too early.

after the meeting, i rushed through documents for another meeting,
skipped my lunch,
and was feeling so goddamn awful after.

but i found a little package on my desk,
with this bright yellow post-it,
it said "cheer up".
and i did!
especially after gobbling up,
the most delicious strawberry tart,
that came with the little note!

Thanks Zentrek! And oh my doesn't tampopo deli have the most luscious strawberry tarts!

my twin pregnancy journal- preggy fashion?

2010-10-28T20:56:00.002+08:00

now that the first trimester blues are over...and i'm enjoying a little more energy and in better spirits...i've started enjoying dressing up for work...and enjoying the fact that i don't have to worry about a paunch...i have a baby belly and i'm proud to show it off.

now, i had a number of maternity pants handed down to me...and they've been great! but i didn't have enough tops though and i'm growing at such an alarming rate that all the big tops i had that i thought would last my pregnancy was just not going to be able to keep up with this huge belly. so i went online and did some shopping.

now preggy clothes are really expensive here in Singapore, but they're very very affordable online. Especially with the weak US dollar.

So, this is me today, all in Green. =)

my twin pregnancy journal-luv from downunder!

2010-10-14T23:20:00.003+08:00

surprised that my care package arrived so much earlier than I had expected!

Oils that will chase away the preggo stretch marks (me hopes) and more paw-paw ointment!

I can't get enough of the stuff!

Yaaay! Thanks babe....I lurve the stuff already!

Hmmm another girlfriend is coming for a visit from down-under in Dec...

wonder what i should get her to lug from OZ land for me...

ooooh baby stuff from Jurlique???.....

that's a great idea!

my twin pregnancy journal- it dun fit no more!!!

2010-10-14T23:17:00.002+08:00

spent last weekend going through my entire wardrobe and packing away the stuff that well...dun fit no more! it'll be some time, say 8 months to a year before i'd be able to lose all this weight and get back into my clothes, so i thought i'd pack them away.

it's a great feeling- decluttering....i feel like i've found simplicity in my life...there's more space for stuff...i get less frustrated finding things to wear in the mornings and i just want to clean and clean and clean some more. Son calls it the 'nesting' syndrome...whatever it is...i'm just feeling good that i'm getting things organised.

And oh my, i didn't realise i had accumulated so much rubbish over the last 1.5 years since I last did a major clean up. I'm sure that most of my clothes may not fit anymore even after this whole phase of my life is over. But i'll wait till then before throwing stuff away. Who knows? I may be lucky and lose a whole lot of weight and be smaller than my pre-preggie self right?

Well, a gal can hope! =)

my twin pregnancy journal- morning sickness

2010-10-01T13:50:00.002+08:00

my morning sickness is not too bad now...
but ocassionally i still have 'attacks'...
yesterday, the 'attack' was out of the ordinary...
as usual, i felt green and quesy in the morning...
i ate some bread to calm the nausea while waiting for hubby to get ready...
then i headed for brekkie...
had a bowl of mee siam which usuallly fixes the nausea...
but as hubby was driving himself to work..
i had to pull out my SQ airsickness bag...tand puke into it...
puked in little bits all the way from marymount road to novena mrt area...
usually, i'd be ok by then..
so i took over the car, and bade hubby farewell...
but five minutes later...i needed to puke...
i had missed the turn to newton hawker centre carpark...
so i drove to MEWR building and parked myself behind...
at the public carpark..and took out my second airsickness bag...
and proceeded to HURL...some more...
other drivers waiting in the carpark...
just stared...
they just stared.....

my twin pregnancy journal- eveeleva so buruk

2010-09-23T13:49:00.002+08:00

someone told me over lunch, that someone in my organisation (on another floor), said that I am not carrying my pregnancy well compared to other soon-to-be mothers in my office.

in short, this person said, i've been looking buruk since i got preggie.

sigh.....

i wish i could get mad about it, but i can't.

you already know about my awful tomato nose.

and then the other day, imp sent out photos from an office event, and look at how buruk i'm sitting....

so not lady-like....at all!....

Tsk!

(that's me in pink. notice how the colleague who's 8 months pregnant is

sitting more properly than I am!)

mik's growing a tiny white beard!

2010-09-23T13:44:00.002+08:00

Look carefully, and you can see that Mik is growing a beard, and starting to look like Santa (or in muslim circles- like a very astute ulama)!

It's his awfully cute habit of blowing, blowing, blowing bubbles with
his own spit!

His mom taught him how to do it, and now he loves to blow, blow, blow bubbles.

Of course, that cute lil beard doesn't stay put for very long, and will slowly slide down his tiny chin onto whatever top he's wearing.

Leaving him, always a very very wet baby. So, he usually hangs out at home with a bib!

This morning, i carried him when he came over. As he was bibless, I exclaimed ,' Please don't get your spit all over auntie eveeleva's blouse!'

But really I wouldn;t have minded, he's sooooo cute!

the discussion

2010-09-22T21:28:00.001+08:00

i've been fretting..fretting away about how this discussion with this particular person i work with was going to go. it didn't help that i was totally frustrated with this person's quality of work in the morning. and just the day before i wanted to scream, shout, hurl stuff and pull out my hair! so i was afraid i'd get carried away with all my negativity and criticism.

but i'm glad i didn't say anything then. cos i managed to cool down, think objectively and not get carried away with my emotions, and think about how best to communicate what i needed to communicate without losing the message, by either going ballistic or even worse sugar-coating to make the person feel better while i try and dish out criticism!

i hate people who sugar-coat and then complain that their staff don't get it. what do you expect? they only taste the sugar, lor!

the conversation went well. it was honest. i didn't hold back, but i don't think i was unnecessarily mean. i think i also focused on this person's strengths, although we spoke a lot more about the areas for improvement, and i think i was encouraging too. (my hubby thinks i'm full of praise for myself always, but seriously, i think i didn't do too bad today!)

i found out later from another colleague, that she has it worse! she can't even be frank with her staff about her staff's work performance, cos her staff will go all black faced on her, and ignore her, or make life difficult. At least i feel i can give honest feedback. *phew*

I later read on someone's facebook post, a quote from 'Eat, Love and Pray'- you should choose your words just as you would choose what you wear (or something alongst those lines).

I was glad that i chose my words carefully today!

my twin pregnancy journal- tomato nose

2010-09-22T21:18:00.002+08:00

it was first my boss who pointed it out.

now i can't run away from my tomato nose.

okay so i'm expecting.

it's normal that the nose turns all red and round.

erk...all my hari raya pics look awful...

because of my tomato nose!

today, he said, 'eveeleva! your nose is redder and even cuter now'

he continued, 'we chinese would say that you're having a baby girl'.

i replied,' but my doc thinks i'm having boys'.

he responded, 'oh, maybe it's different for malays then!'

LOL...

ok boss...only universal standards apply to me ok? not racial ones!

the lil girl in her kebaya

2010-09-19T22:18:00.002+08:00

the highlight of my weekend was seeing lil nikki all prettied up in a cute pink kebaya for raya!

according to her mum, she's a lil vain pot.

well, only a cute lil one year old vain pot would leave the pretty lil flower untouched in her hair! =)

this pic is..oh not so glam...but oh soooo cute! =)

doodles

2010-09-19T22:11:00.002+08:00

visited wanton doodle's home on Sat for some makan.

i always feel rejuvenated by all his artwork-doodles around.

i luv quietly snooping around to see what's new.

while enjoying all the doodles that have been around for some time.

not there, but here

2010-09-13T09:44:00.001+08:00

a quarter of my team is now in Hanoi for work.
i've been grounded for very obvious reasons.
and although making my hari raya rounds have been exhausting enough,
i wished i was in Hanoi with them, instead of being here.

feeling rather useless right now,
but i know i have to keep my eye on the ball!

Mike's first Eid!

2010-09-12T13:38:00.000+08:00

He had a fabulous day! All decked out in purple, mike, mummy and daddy looked soo very smart!

his great-grandma was thrilled that he gurgled and cooed in her arms all morning! =)

Eid Mubarak 2010!

2010-09-12T13:35:00.003+08:00

Eid came and went rather quickly this year.

But i was proud of myself on many fronts. I was only nauseas in the morning. Lots of sweets kept my head out of the toilet bowl during the day. And I manage to visit all the houses we had intended to this year, and managed to get home before 8pm, so that I could get my rest. My appetite was also very good, so I managed to sample a little of everything. And oh my, everything was absolutely delicious!

hubby and i were also decked in matching festive wear. which was very nice. and he's already decided to wear red next year. an auspicious colour for our growing family i suppose.

Eid Mubarak one an all! =)

snore

2010-09-08T08:51:00.001+08:00

Did you know? My husband snores.

I suppose some people have one signature snore. A snore that sounds the same all the time. My husband is different, he has a variety of snores. It's as if he has different types of snores for different occasions tucked away in some cupboard i don't know of. =)

He has the unbearable snore. VERY VERY loud. Some people have said it sounds like a drill. My brother who roomed with my hubby (before we hitched), exclaimed after one morning that there was no way he could sleep in the same room with hubby again- after being kept awake all night. Somehow i manage to sleep throught the snores. Bothers me a little, but not too much.

But my husband has this delightful snore that I love. And this morning I woke up to this delightful snoring. It's not too loud and not too soft. And it lulls me back to sleep. It's this feeling of comfort I enjoy when he snores this way. Without opening my eyes or feeling his arms around me, I know he's near, breathing and next to me.

Of course the horrid thing is that I switched off the alarm and went right back to sleep, leaving us scrambling half an hour later, trying to get out of the house on time for work.

=)

monarch obsession

2010-09-07T11:36:00.002+08:00

i've been stuck at home. and in between shuttling from the loo and the bedroom, i've had lots of time to watch tv. my latest obsession has been with monarchs.

it all began with a great documentary about the inner workings of Windsor Castle which was followed by a series about the English Monarchy. This has included bios on the late Princess of Diana, Prince Charles. Something about the formality of everything, especially watching all the people behind the scenes work out everything for the royal family, resonates with me. Reminds me a bit of work too, although it seems much more cordial and polite in Buckingham palace, compared to our Island's offices.

I then chanced upon a lovely documentary about a monarch closer to home- Negeri Sembilan, Malaysia. It was about the pertabalan (appointment) of HRH Tunku Mukhriz, King of Negeri Sembilan. What i found most interesting was the fact that the crown isn't inherited directly via the lineage, i.e. when the king passes on, his first-born son does not inherit the crown automatically. Instead, they have a semi-democratic process in place.

Negeri Sembilan which literally translates into 9-states, is divided into 9 districts. Each district has its own elected chief. Now the king of Negeri Sembilan is chosen by these 9 chieftains. HRH Tunku Mukhriz's father who was King of Negeri Sembilan had passed on when he was a young boy. And the 9 chieftains had selected his uncle to inherit the crown. When his late uncle, the late King passed on, HRH Tunku Mukhriz was selected from among his cousins to be king.

I believe Negeri Sembilan is a unique case in Malaysia and perhaps in the rest of the world.

Now what struck me most about the documentary, I must admit were the princes. *LOL* I was very impressed by the way they carried themselves and their British English accents. I was especially swept away by the younger Prince, Tunku Zain, who although like his older brother was very articulate had a special something about him. Although he is the younger prince, it is interesting that there seems to be no sense of entitlement at all among the brothers, after all, who gets to be King after their father is fair game. Afterall, the older son doens't automatically succeed his father.

Okay, i also think he's quite cute and seems very accomplished...afterall he did come up with a new arrangement of the state's anthem......heee...*drool*

Anyways, taken by Tunku Zain, i googled him and found to my surprise that he's a research fellow at the LKY school just minutes away from me. Sooo exciting! But soo sad. Seeing that i am married and with some additions on the way. *groan*.

LOL!

mike sakit

2010-09-01T10:34:00.002+08:00

missed him yesterday. he was at home with a fever.

pic courtesy of his mommy/daddy's iphone

get well soon sweetie. =)