Separation Anxiety

My twins have been separated now for almost a week. Ipin is being cared for by my mom-in-law and I at home, while Upin is being cared for by my mom at my parent's place. It's really for their own good. To ensure that Upin doesn't catch what Ipin has.

But after receiving a call from my mom last night, sharing that Upin hasn't been sleeping well and crying a lot at night, I started to wonder whether separating them is really the best thing to do?

Feeling terribly guilty about being away from Upin while caring for Ipin, I went back to my parent's place last night to spend the night with Upin. My mom was right, he had restless sleep, kept crying and sobbing during the night.

I thought my heart was already in a million tiny fragments. I didn't realise that during the night it would slowly fragment into tinier and even tinier pieces. At one point, after being unable to console my sobbing child, I pulled out my iphone and showed him a video of his brother. Only then did he seem to calm down, cuddled me close and shut his eyes.

My dad told my mother, that if he could miss my mum after being a day away from her, he couldn't imagine what Upin must feel being separated from Ipin for a week. After all, they've been since the first second of life, never spent a whole day apart.

The person I'm closest too is my husband. And even I had pangs of separation anxiety when he didn't reach home the moment he was supposed to (by my own mental calculations of how long he'd take to get home from the exact second he's supposed to finish work). I threw a small fit  when he told me that he was spending some time after work getting stuff for his class. How dare he leave me for much longer that he needed to, without informing first!

Noone asked Upin whether it was ok for us to 'ship' him away for a week, either.

I can't imagine what my poor babies are feeling.

I'm starting to feel that it's better to have them together instead of wait for Ipin's diarrhea to subside.

Oh my, what am I supposed to do? This motherhood business is super tough. What was I thinking when I decided to become a mother? And what was god thinking when he gave me the 2 of them!

*SOB*

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Pretty Eveel Adventures: Separation Anxiety

Friday, January 6, 2012

Separation Anxiety

My twins have been separated now for almost a week. Ipin is being cared for by my mom-in-law and I at home, while Upin is being cared for by my mom at my parent's place. It's really for their own good. To ensure that Upin doesn't catch what Ipin has.

But after receiving a call from my mom last night, sharing that Upin hasn't been sleeping well and crying a lot at night, I started to wonder whether separating them is really the best thing to do?

Feeling terribly guilty about being away from Upin while caring for Ipin, I went back to my parent's place last night to spend the night with Upin. My mom was right, he had restless sleep, kept crying and sobbing during the night.

I thought my heart was already in a million tiny fragments. I didn't realise that during the night it would slowly fragment into tinier and even tinier pieces. At one point, after being unable to console my sobbing child, I pulled out my iphone and showed him a video of his brother. Only then did he seem to calm down, cuddled me close and shut his eyes.

My dad told my mother, that if he could miss my mum after being a day away from her, he couldn't imagine what Upin must feel being separated from Ipin for a week. After all, they've been since the first second of life, never spent a whole day apart.

The person I'm closest too is my husband. And even I had pangs of separation anxiety when he didn't reach home the moment he was supposed to (by my own mental calculations of how long he'd take to get home from the exact second he's supposed to finish work). I threw a small fit  when he told me that he was spending some time after work getting stuff for his class. How dare he leave me for much longer that he needed to, without informing first!

Noone asked Upin whether it was ok for us to 'ship' him away for a week, either.

I can't imagine what my poor babies are feeling.

I'm starting to feel that it's better to have them together instead of wait for Ipin's diarrhea to subside.

Oh my, what am I supposed to do? This motherhood business is super tough. What was I thinking when I decided to become a mother? And what was god thinking when he gave me the 2 of them!

*SOB*

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1 Comments:

Anonymous fangirlyness said...

It's one heck of an odd illness you guys contracted. Food poisoning that turned into a contagious illness. I don't know anything about how baby twins cope with separation (I just googled, but the info seems to be mostly about older twins at preschool), but logically, it would make sense that they would fret a bit from not having their sibling close by. Just as a baby grows attached to a comfort item, I imagine it's a thousand times more acute when it comes to a twin.

You have to remind yourself that this is temporary. It's nobody's fault! I know it's hard, but don't let the guilt consume you. Babies are amazingly resilient. This is only a short term anxiety for all of you and really, you are doing the best possible thing for them if that was the doctor's recommendation. It's possible that Upin won't catch what Ipin has, but as parents, we take the advice of experts and make decisions. Yes, no one asked Upin or Ipin, but concerning their health, at this age they don't get a say. You and Hubby do. Give yourself a break, dearie. Don't beat yourself up. You and your family are doing the best possible thing and it's fantastic that everyone is pitching in to get these two on track to a happy (and healthy) reunion. They will not be permanently scarred by this separation of a week or more. They'll be fine, but I completely understand how heartwrenching it is for you, in the meantime. Just hang in there. You've already been through a whole lot, this is some of the yucky stuff that comes with the whole parenting business, granted, so think of the happy days ahead.

Take a breath. This is not indefinite, it's shitty temporarily.

As always LOVE AND HUGS,

Son

January 6, 2012 at 10:50 AM  

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