It's been a long while. Didn't intend to blog today. In fact, I've been thinking a lot about shutting this blog down but haven't quite found the will to do it. Not because I don't enjoy it but because in the scheme of important things in my life. It isn't that high on the priority list.
But somehow today, I feel like blogging - jotting down my thoughts and sending them into the world.
What have I been up to?
Been doing a lot of reflections lately and praying. A lot. And I think there's a considerable amount of work I need to do on the home-front, personal front and professional front. Need to spend time with the kids. Need to be a better person, contribute to society, need to develop some of my own competencies so that I have more options for the future. Need to deliver on the KPIs at work and the increasing expectations that are brewing (a lot of it largely because I spend time telling people how much great work my team does! *groan*).
This means I need to be more focused with my time. So blogging's been shoved aside for a bit. Not sure now, if that's a good thing.
But today, I'm feeling exhausted and drained. For whatever reason, I've been experiencing low energy levels this last few weeks. No, I am NOT pregnant!
Seriously, was feeling so tired end of last week. The weekend didn't help that much. And given lower energy levels, I was feeling utterly drained after spending the day with the boys at Port of Lost Wonder. It was awesome fun and it was the sort of quality time, I know I need with my boys. But it's left me very tired.
Plus, I went for tui-na massage yesterday. It's been 3 months since my last visit, so I'm not in good shape. My back is all bruised up (not me in the pic below, although I pretty much look like that) and the session tends to drain or sap your energy. So i'm feeling super tired. However, I am looking forward to when the bruises go away, my body recovers and my zhi is improved!
Plus I'm feeling emotionally...kinda drained. I'm reading 'Gaddafi's Harem' by Annick Cojean. It is vile. What is captured in between the pages of this book- it is inconceivable. And it makes me sad. For some reason, because I've been to Libya, and when all this monstrosity was ongoing, somehow i feel more connected to the experience of these women. I'm emotionally hyper-sensitive. I get affected by things around me very easily, and my experience with this book is a good example of how I can get emotionally caught up in things that may seem distant or separate from the individual. =(
While some men can be such vile creatures, I'm married to a really great guy. He isn't perfect, but then again, neither am I. But I'm feeling greater partnership and support with and from him than ever before. We're in such a good authentic place right now. Maybe it's maturity, maybe it's us settling into a more comfortable parenting role, maybe it's the fact that our boys are bigger and letting us have more 'us' space. Whatever it is, I'm enjoying it and I'm hoping this partnership grows only stronger.
|This sketch is the work of a former cubicle neighbour!|
I'm feeling a little more energised now, people. Thank you!
Till next time!