The day the milk came in

So i was stressing day and night about how I wasn't yet able to totally breastfeed my babies and that my milk was slow coming in and that I was denying my twins a chance to have a healthy childhood because I wasn't born a natural cow.

To be honest, it was difficult. I was teary a lot. I'd cry to my hubby, telling him how useless I felt, how I felt like I was failing my children. He listened and at first didn't say anything much.

Until one night, he said," You know Eveel, it's ok if you can't breastfeed them. I'm just worried about you and the possibility of you slipping into PND (postnatal depression)."

That night, I thought about what he said and the reality of me slipping into PND. Afterall, I did suffer from antenatal depression, and therefore at higher risk of PND. I already have a follow up counselling session scheduled in a few weeks so the psychiatrist can check up on me.

So it suddenly occured to me that:

1. I was formula fed and I turned out ok. If I can't totally breastfeed my twins, I can be a great mother in other ways, and cook them super good food chockfull of antioxidents etc when their bigger, bring them to the park to get lots of exercise, pump them full of vitamins, etc.

2. Having a depressed non-functioning mother is much much worse than being bottle fed formula. I want my twins to enjoy me, the happy functioning full of joy Eveeleva that everyone knows and not the one who spends mornings crying in the shower depressed preggo Eveeleva.

So with a huge sigh, I told myself. SCREW it. I'll do my best and that's all anyone, including MYSELF, should expect of me.

Lo and behold, the next day, the milk came in. I guess I just had to stop stressing myself out about it.

I still don't have quite enough to feed both twins, but I take turns to feed them breastmilk. Some breastmilk is better than none at all right?

OI, i'm doing the best that i can lah... =)


Labels: ,

Pretty Eveel Adventures: The day the milk came in

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The day the milk came in

So i was stressing day and night about how I wasn't yet able to totally breastfeed my babies and that my milk was slow coming in and that I was denying my twins a chance to have a healthy childhood because I wasn't born a natural cow.

To be honest, it was difficult. I was teary a lot. I'd cry to my hubby, telling him how useless I felt, how I felt like I was failing my children. He listened and at first didn't say anything much.

Until one night, he said," You know Eveel, it's ok if you can't breastfeed them. I'm just worried about you and the possibility of you slipping into PND (postnatal depression)."

That night, I thought about what he said and the reality of me slipping into PND. Afterall, I did suffer from antenatal depression, and therefore at higher risk of PND. I already have a follow up counselling session scheduled in a few weeks so the psychiatrist can check up on me.

So it suddenly occured to me that:

1. I was formula fed and I turned out ok. If I can't totally breastfeed my twins, I can be a great mother in other ways, and cook them super good food chockfull of antioxidents etc when their bigger, bring them to the park to get lots of exercise, pump them full of vitamins, etc.

2. Having a depressed non-functioning mother is much much worse than being bottle fed formula. I want my twins to enjoy me, the happy functioning full of joy Eveeleva that everyone knows and not the one who spends mornings crying in the shower depressed preggo Eveeleva.

So with a huge sigh, I told myself. SCREW it. I'll do my best and that's all anyone, including MYSELF, should expect of me.

Lo and behold, the next day, the milk came in. I guess I just had to stop stressing myself out about it.

I still don't have quite enough to feed both twins, but I take turns to feed them breastmilk. Some breastmilk is better than none at all right?

OI, i'm doing the best that i can lah... =)


Labels: ,

2 Comments:

OpenID butterflyrubrics said...

Alhamdulillah! Happy mommy = happy babies! You're right! Breastfeeding is not supposed to be stressful, cos if it is, it'll be counterproductive. The hormones will just work against you and not let you body produce much at all! Don't fret it k, every parent makes decisions based on what works for their family, so don't fret about full/total breastfeeding, like you said, any breastmilk is better than none! So enjoy your nursing moments with the twins and don't worry about anythg else!

Btw, some moms do revert back to full only after babies are 6mths, and things are much much more settled. You may make such decisions along the way but whatever it may be, breastfeeding is only a teenie weenie part of mothering.. and we all know you're gonna be a great mom!

Allah's the Best of Providers and only He knows what we can afford.. you're doing great and what little you lack alhamdulillah there's the wonders of formula, also rezeki in its own form :)

March 8, 2011 at 9:32 AM  
OpenID swan said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AwXKJoKJz4

March 9, 2011 at 4:30 PM  

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