Cold feet n general uselessness

Shhh!!! I'm gonna share with you a little secret. I was supposed to return to work on Tuesday. Upin, who started vomiting on Monday morning was looking better and my mom-in-law, who was staying over, seemed to have a good grip of things. But as I was dressing up, I begun to feel a swarm of butterflies flutter excitedly in my stomach and I felt, like I myself,was about to vomit. Sheer and utter panic. It swept over me like a mighty wave crashing on the shores of Uluwatu. There was no way I was going to make it into the office. I was scared of the emails that awaited me. I was afraid of all the work that had been done and the notion that i wiuld never be able to catch up. I was afraid to learn that the wole world went on without me. And they didn't want me back. No, they didn't need me back. I felt sick. So I called my boss and took another day of childcare leave. But I couldn't jolly well stay home, now could I? What would my mom-in-law say? So I headed to town, parked myself at Starbucks with a skinny cappuccino and opened up my office laptop. I spent the good part of the day slowly going through emails. I felt much much better after that. And once I caught up with the stuff going on over emails, the butterflies slowly disappeared and I started to look forward to going back t the office. I'm happy to report that no panic attacks took place today and I had a good first day back at the office. Except worrying about Upin who was still sick and at my mom's! But its not all happy la la la...it is appraisal time. And looking back, I really dont have much to show for this year, It sucks, i'm usually a productive member of any team but this year...sigh..I dunno la. but I'll blog about it more, another day.