I'm having a challenging time at work this week. I've had to channel all my positive energy into convincing myself that I am capable of helping the team through this big piece of work and achieving what we set out to do.
I've never been a very very religious person. I believe in God yes, I profess myself Muslim yes, but do I pray 5 times a day every day? I'd like to say I did, but I'd be lying. I'm not a perfect Muslim, then again who is?
On the advise of, well advise wouldn't be the right word, cos my friends have never outrightly advised me. But did, by sharing with me how they would rely on their faith in God to get them through challenging times, that I've been inspired to seek more solace in my faith. Much more than I have for a long time now.
It doesn't surprise me that those who have inspired this are friends of the Christian faith, rather than my Muslim friends. Maybe because I've grown up in a mission school all my life, I'm more comfortable talking about my own religion and faith with non-Muslims rather than Muslims.
Anyway, tonight while I was doing my post-prayer reflection it dawned on me that the relationship that I've always had with God has always been one based on fear. Not on love.
I'm thinking that I don't want that for my children. They should learn to love our God, not fear him.
Labels: eveel ramblings, raising eveel twins