I don't think I like this article 'Why having a Baby is the Best Thing that can happen to your Productivity'?
I think its the breezy positivity of the article. Maybe it's the 'I-can-do-it-so-can you' tone that the write takes on. Quite condescending me thinks. Or maybe it's because its written by a dad.
I don't care if a father is a stay-at-home or a hands on dad. Fathers experience of parenting is not the same a mother. Father's don't go through nine-months of pregnancy, which includes nausea, insomnia, all sorts of aches and pains. So in total, mom's are 9 months more tired to begin with.
While I agree with his first point, who does this person think he is?
" No matter if you are tired, no matter if you frustrated, no matter if you are confused, there is one thing that can change all of this: understanding – getting the big picture.
I can hear you saying, “Okay, so I can make myself productive, erase my sleep debt and feel happy just by understanding the situation? No, I don’t think so!”
Here is the thing: when you go through these mixed feelings, do you really understand the whole picture of parenthood?
Sure, it’s not nice when you aren’t getting stuff done and things aren’t going as planned, but hey – that’s what being a parent (and especially with a newborn baby) is all about!"
Sure, I'll try his 6 steps:
1. Attitude and appreciation
2. Working times
3. Focusing on what matters
4. Plan your day
5. Hire some help.
6. Spot the time pockets.
Look, I appreciate my children all well and good. But in Singapore, you work long hours. Your boss work long hours, your staff works long hours. I have a ton of meetings to deal with everyday, and a gazillion stakeholders to attend to. I'm no fancy stay at home dad, who gets to smell the roses. It's good enough if I spend about 2 hours with my kids before they go to bed.
Long gone are the days where I used to work from 9 to 8pm straight and then go home and do work related reading. Its good news if I can think straight by 5pm these days.
How do I cope? One day at a time. I remind myself that there's meaning to the work I do. That its necessary to work so that I can put food on the table, I can pay for ridiculous childcare fees when my kids are a bit bigger. That it's not too bad now, before I have to come home from a long day of work and find that my evening is going to be about checking the pile of homework that teachers will give them when they start school, and the drilling I have to do for my kids who will do the math I learnt in Sec 2 when they're in pri 3!
I will do what I can. And I will remind myself that the career that I've given up, the promotions that will never come because my CEP has fallen from that dismal place it began with, is all worth it when my children grow up, graduate from school (i'm not picky, any school will do) and make me proud.
And i remind myself daily, that regardless of how difficult or expensive raising children is, that i've done my part in covering my husband and my 'headcount'. We've done our part for our nation and we don't have to feel that it's our fault if gov decides to allow 'import' of 2 more foreigners to cover our retirement costs!
Yar, no positivity here. Not tonight at least!