it must be the nerves

i'm in Vientiane for a week. i'm conducting training for some people here. it's part of my job, a part that i'm beginning to enjoy very much. though i must admit the training i've been doing for work, has really been self-engineered. i see an opportunity and i jump at it.

i think i'm a better trainer and a better facilitator now. i've had the pleasure of facilitating with many fabulous and more experienced colleagues, and i always find something new to learn, something to improve.

tonight, the stomach is in knots again. it's stress. it's nerves. it's like this always, i always get terribly nervous. i do hope things turn out all ok for the week.

*fingers crossed*

a swim at the 57th floor

i had the pleasure of sampling the 57th floor of the newly opened Marina Bay Sands.

photo courtesy of imp (who had the better camera!)

The sky park is quite awesome, what with the stunning infinity pool with what is definitely the best view on our little island. too bad it was just filled with many many guests, most who weren't even in their swimwear. in fact the crowd was really unstylish and i even spotted a woman in a t-shirt in a pool. come on? go to a public pool why don't you? what can you do? it is opening week, and the hotel is at full occupancy.

can't wait for things to settle, and i return for an early morning swim. dying to lap up the  to die for view!

it couldn't get any worse than this. could it?

what a month. it seems like it gets worse and worse.

we just received official news about a management change that the grapevine had already alerted to me some weeks ago. it was easier then, when it was largely unconfirmed and unofficial to sweep it under the carpet and pretend that it wasn't really going to happen. but boy oh boy, the news has hit home!

it won't affect me too much directly as plans to move me has already been underway for awhile. but to manage the horror of the rest of team is emotionally draining for me. i understand that people will move if they're not happy with the change. i would too. i've always made it very clear that i will only be able to work for people i respect. and if i didn't. i would move.

but. to think about losing all the great people i've worked years with. people who have helped me grow and who have been so much a part of my life, as my own family has been- is nothing short of devastating.

stressed

i'm stressed out

and my body, through my tummy, is telling me that i'm stressed by just refusing to work properly.

we finally figured out that my terrible bouts of indigestion is really stress related. i've been very diligent with my fruits and veg, with loads of water to ensure my digestion is ok.still, after all that effort my weekend was spent in pain, feeling bloated, farty and nauseas all at the same time.

it's stress.

i really need to learn how to deal with my stress.

i've always been very bad with handling it, either by gorging on chocs or with tummy aches. actually now that i think about it, in my previous job, when i was stressed out, i'd have these terrible tummy aches. i remember it feeling like terrible knots. at least it didn't last very long then.

these days its days long.

can anyone help me with my stress please?

missing turkey v2- topkapi palace

i'm not really into the marbled classical look.
but i wouldn't mind a toilet like this one.

hmmm...i must think creatively how i can include this sorta bathroom in my tiny 87sq/m flat. Maybe the flat will just be a giant toilet with a bedroom in the bomb shelter?

how's that for creativity?

maybe i can apply for some PS21 grant to pilot it. better yet, it could be a joint inter-agency project. me. hdb and PS21 office. with all three parties working together it will surely be a safe-fail project.

amacam?

missing turkey- goereme open air museums

a wonderful thing i missed about my time in Turkey was the time i had spent with my pastels.

my artist friend had suggested to me before i left ,' draw what you feel, not what you see'.

i remember thinking..."ooh, so cheem these artistic types".

i drawing what i could see was so difficult, imagine trying to draw something i couldn't see.

anyhow, i love to put colour on paper so it didn't bother me. my art is going to be about pleasing myself.

hubby said, "It looks like something a primary school kid drew".

i replied, "Then that primary school kid is BLOODY gifted".

*grinz*

bz lah!

i met windbreeze last friday at my weekly massage sanctuary. she asked the inevitable question- 'oh, why haven't you been bloggin?' she also asked me if i've been sticking to my list of 20 things i wanted to improve on.

well. i've been busy. with work, with life. actually i'm feeling rather drained. work just no longer exciites me much anymore, even though there are a lot of exciting things happening work wise. or maybe its just that there are more interesting things that are happening outside of work, in real life.

like laundry. *lol*.

no lah- hanging out with hubby in the evenings is so much more enticing these days, even if its just to stone in front of the tv all night or watching old episodes of top gear on our macbook. there's also my new born nephew who is so much more fun to attend to then loads of emails.

in the midst of trying to manage all this, i just haven't had enough energy to blog anymore. I haven't even finished blogging about turkey lah!

maybe it's time for a change?

sigh!